Facts & Myths

Myth:  It won’t happen to me.

Fact: This is a sad mentality, given statistics.  Anyone can be a victim, anyone can be an assailant.  You must raise your level of awareness, learn about red flags/warning signs and learn how to protect yourself should anything unfortunate occur.  You never know what might happen, but should the worst occur, it’s better to be prepared mentally and physically.

Myth: I’m too busy.  I don’t have time.

Fact: This is an excuse! It only takes 4-6 hours with daily, simple practice to learn “realistic personal safety/self-defense” that will give you survival skills for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.  Our training does not take hours upon hours to learn.  It does require a commitment to yourself and you must incorporate the natural skills into your daily routine.  Ultimately……you have to decide, how much is your life worth?

Myth: Some people ask to be assaulted.  They send “signals”, provoke an assault or the abuse.  They must like it or they would leave.

Fact: Being subjected to any form of assault is painful, difficult and frequently a traumatic experience.  Defenses such as “she wore provocative clothes”, “she enjoyed it”, “she made me do it” and “if she would have just……..” are not acceptable nor accurate.  Victim provocation is no more common in domestic violence than in any other crime.  Battered women often make repeated attempts to leave violent relationships, but are prevented from doing so by increased violence and control tactics on the part of the abuser.  Other factors which inhibit a victim’s ability to leave include economic dependence, few viable options for housing and support, unhelpful responses from the criminal justice system, social isolation, cultural or religious constraints, a commitment to the abuser and the relationship and fear of further violence.  It has been estimated that the danger to a victim increase by 70% when she attempts to leave, as the abuser escalates his use of violence when he begins to lose control.  There is zero tolerance for victim precipitation or victim blaming!

Myth:  Domestic Violence is usually a one time isolated occurrence (any intimate relationship is referred to domestic violence).

Fact: Battering is a pattern of coercion and control (power and control) that one person exerts over another.  Battering is not just one physical attack.  It includes the repeated use of a number of tactics, including intimidation, threats, financial deprivation, isolation and psychological and sexual abuse.  Physical violence is just one of these tactics.  The various forms of abuse utilized by batterers help to maintain power and control over their spouses and partners.  If he hit you once, he will hit you again.

Myth:  Men have a right to discipline their partners for misbehaving.  Battering is not a crime.

Fact: While our society derives from a patriarchal legal system that afforded men the right to physically chastise their wives and children, we do not live under such a system now.  Women and children are no longer considered the property of men, and domestic violence is a crime in every state in the United States.

Myth:  My Attacker will be twice by size and physically impossible to fight!

Fact: This is a very common fear/feeling of a female.  When we look at one’s size we are automatically intimidated.  Self-defense is about how you use your knowledge to your advantage.  Females do not defend themselves against males with strength; we protect and defend with strategy and knowledge. We are trained to fight an attacker’s weaknesses, not his strengths by using our minds to determine vulnerability and to strike defensively.  There are target areas on a human body that are extremely vulnerable.  Doing something is better than doing nothing.

Myth:  I have a gun or pepper spray for a weapon; if someone attacks me I can use this to protect myself.

Fact: Realistically, when you are attacked by an assailant, happens without warning—you don’t have time to pull out your weapon of choice as you don’t walk around with your finger on the trigger of either.  When faced with predicaments that call for immediate self-defense, only  two things are readily available—YOUR MIND AND YOUR BODY.  BOTTOM-LINE.

Myth:  I’m not a fighter.

Fact: DO NOT EVER ACCEPT VICTIMIZATION. You will do whatever it takes to survive and conquer a threatening situation, giving yourself permission to fight back.  YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Myth:  I’ll be too scared and my fear will make self-defense impossible.

Fact: Fear is normal.  Fear is natural.  Fear is expected.  Decide on what frightens you more—being injured or killed by an assailant or taking the risk and fighting back.  Using self-defense in various forms (mental, emotional and physically) is a means for escape and survival.  Learn how to turn fear into effective reactions.

Copyright © 2005-2013 Jacoby & Associates

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