Even though I have shot guns since I was in junior high school, had a concealed carry permit in my lifetime and I support the Right To Bear Arms; I do not support the myth, “I own a gun and that is the best possible method of self-defense. If someone attacks me, I can use it to protect myself.”
Let’s take a look at why not……the facts/reality of such myth. First, I say congratulations! I have heard this comment from females and males on behalf of the women in their lives with a cavalier attitude – all thinking/feeling that if owning a gun is the only sufficient method of personal safety/self-defense. Weapons are advantageous and necessary when situations demand their use. Our military are not equipped with bottles of pepper spray, really loud whistles and table knives. Our soldiers are armed with top-of-the line deadly weapons in order to fulfill their duties to be able to fight defensively during wartime. Good common sense.
Supporting the right to bear arms comes in when you wake up in the middle of the night, you hear a strange noise, having a gun safely in your night stand is a good thing. You will probably have enough time to make a 911 call; get your weapon, gather up enough courage to head toward the direction of the noise and attempt to intimidate and stall him until the police arrive. A gun is a handy when it is used with KNOWLEDGE, GOOD JUDGMENT AND RESPECT. Most important…….it’s best IF you have time to use it.
Realistically, when you are attacked by an assailant, it happens without warning. You are not given the smallest margin of time to prepare your defense. I don’t care what your weapon of choice is you will not be given the time necessary to pull it out and use it. If you are unexpectedly pushed or ambushed to the ground, even if you have your weapon in your pocketbook, it’s not going to help the situation. When faced with predicaments the call for immediate personal safety training/self-defense, only two thing are readily available – your MIND AND BODY. That’s all you have.
Guns are useful in certain situations or as a means of intimidation; the odds of being able to access a weapon in enough time so that it retains its benefits are pretty damn slim. A gun in your safety box or save at your home won’t help you when someone attacks you while you are jogging in the park.
Learn how to use yourself as a weapon and you might not have to worry about owning a gun. This same principle applies to any weapons – including pepper spray, Mace or knives.
Food for thought…….why do you think our military and law enforcement are taught “hand-to-hand combat” extensively in training? Simple answer…….they may not have enough time to draw their weapons to defend themselves in an altercation. They must know how to protect and defend themselves “realistically” with their minds and bodies rather than depending on their weapon.
So, why wouldn’t you do everything in your power to learn how to use your mind and body “realistically” to defend yourself?
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Becoming educated makes a person more understanding, more aware and more comfortable with the truth. I am personally becoming more and more appalled with parents that do exactly what is displayed in the picture above. And, then I get phone calls and emails that their daughters have been assaulted and asked to help them through the system at the schools and law enforcement departments. Makes me shake my head and ask………”Didn’t you even take the opportunity to check into the crimes stats BEFORE even visiting? Or, spend a some money on giving her the education and advantage of personal safety?” The majority of the time is “NO”.
It is time for females AND parents to get their heads out of the sand, understand the myths (excuses) and learn the facts (reality) of “realisitic” personal safety training/self-defense and to become proactive. There is not one form of personal safety training/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed. Weapons of every kind are not a guarantee either (we’ll look at this too). However, with education at least you may be able to detect (awareness), learn the ability to de-escalate a potentially dangerous situation and ultimately if a physical altercation occurs you will be better equipped with the knowledge of “realistic” defense.
We all have excuses for things in our lives that we don’t do or spend too much time doing. These excuses serve as deterrents preventing us from following through with action and benefits. When you begin to understand or experience the consequences of your excuses you get a really good reality check. This reality check (wake-up call) usually changes your way of thinking automatically.
The “myth concept” not only affects many areas in our lives but also has the same influence in the personal safety training/self-defense world. These myths make females apprehensive toward or opposed to personal safety training/self-defense.
A myth can be and often is used as an excuse for not doing something.
The attitude, “it won’t happen to me” is a huge myth; every female should look in the mirror and realize that victimization does not discriminate. This is just plain ignorance if you believe that the possibility that you cannot be a victim is true. You have to debunk the thought that learning personal safety training/self-defense carries negative characteristics (aggression, arrogance, or violence). And, by not understanding that if trained properly to obtain the mental and physical abilities that you can possibly prevent or de-escalate an attack is a total underestimation on your part.
When we begin to understand the facts=reality of these myths=excuses we begin to understand objectives, the effectiveness and the technique of personal safety training/self-defense. We can save our life or the life of someone we love. We can prevent ourselves from becoming a statistic of crime. As I stated above, personal safety training/self-defense is not a guaranteed free pass from crime; however, your chances of survival and the ability to detect a possible altercation are increased significantly.
Becoming educated your level of awareness increases or is heightened, your intuition (gut instincts) are better in tune and your physical abilities are sharpened so that your chances of being attacked, raped or murdered are statistically lessened. You won’t broadcast that you know “self-defense” but you won’t walk down a certain street or in an area when your instincts (gut) kicks in and tells you to turn back. When someone grabs you from behind you won’t freeze but immediately your reaction will be to fight back upon recognition of your window of opportunity. You will see that a seemingly hopeless and defenseless situation has more opportunities for defense than you could have ever imagined.
Personal safety training/self-defense is NOT about being paranoid, it IS about being smart!
Knowledge is a powerful tool.
Stop making excuses and do something powerful for yourself and your loved ones – obtain Personal Safety Training. Training (mind, body and soul) that you will have for the rest of your life.
How can any parent put a price tag on the life of their daughter? Why wouldn’t you want your daughter in high school/middle school and especially college bound to be educated?
Question……beside looking at the pretty websites and visiting University after University…..has anyone truly looked in the stats of these schools as to their crime stats via The Jean Cleary Act or Title IX? Parents…..do your homework. In my book……………NO CAMPUS IS CRIME FREE AND THE NUMBER OF FEMALE STUDENTS BEING ASSAULTED (BY SOMEONE THEY KNOW OR RANDOM) IS OFF THE CHARTS. Parents……give your daughter the tools for her tool belt, give her the opportunity that she will have for the rest of her life. No parent wants to receive “that phone call”; trust me. (*Again, no personal safety course is 100% guaranteed, but even if she gains 50% knowledge of what she never had to begin with isn’t that worth something?) Think about…………long and hard. Again, can you honestly put a price tag on your daughter’s life? Most parents answer is “NO”.
How can any female NOT want to be proactive and at least have the knowledge of COULD happen if I don’t know personal safety? Personal safety is so much more than watching a DVD in your livingroom – it is truly about education and ultimately physically how to protect oneself. Girls talk to your parents……this is an exciting time but you guys have to know the possibilities and reality. Not to “scare” you but you have to know the odds and know how to handle situations.
Parents – get involved in your daughter’s safety during college. Parents or Gals……contact me for details as we are gearing up our tour to bring personal safety training (6 hours on one weekend day) to communities everywhere! Organizers of training’s will train for FREE!
Take care and STAY SAFE!
On May 16, 2010 Haleigh Milwee of Little Rock, Arkansas never gave up as she fought back with her entire soul and being. Haleigh became a victim of a brutal home invasion and repetitive assaults and beatings. Shy of a year later Haleigh continued to have the strength and courage to continue in her fight as she finally got justice on Thursday, April 28, 2011.
Jim Huff, Haleigh’s assailant altered her life forever to the point she will never answer the door to help someone again.
A 57-year-old Little Rock man, Jim Huff drew a life sentence Thursday for a brutal May 16, 2010, attack and abduction of a 25-year-old woman, Haleigh Milwee from her midtown home.
A Pulaski County jury of eight women and four men imposed the life term on Jim Tyson Huff for the kidnapping of Haleigh Millwee. He also received 40-year prison terms each for aggravated residential burglary and aggravated robbery convictions and 6-year terms for seconddegree battery and first-degree terroristic threatening counts.
Circuit Judge Herb Wright, acting on the jury’s recommendation, made the sentences consecutive.
The bespectacled Huff, sitting at a table in the fourth-floor courtroom and dressed in a dark gray pinstriped suit with a maroon tie, exhibited no emotion when the jury verdict was read.
Earlier Thursday, the jury had taken about 30 minutes to find him guilty on all five charges. The jurors deliberated about an hour and 15 minutes Thursday afternoon to reach unanimous agreement on the penalties.
According to testimony, Huff holding a small dog, rang the doorbell of the home Millwee shared with two other women on the pretext of asking her whether the dog belonged to her. She was home alone. He eventually forced his way into the house, punched Millwee and pinned her facedown. He removed several items from a bag, including handcuffs, a bandanna, a stress ball, zip ties and a box cutter, placing them in front of her face.
Soon, Millwee testified Wednesday, he had bound her wrists together behind her back and then fastened her wrists to her ankles, blindfolded her with the bandanna and stuffed the squishy plastic bulb in her mouth to gag her. She struggled to escape while he went through the house only to return and beat her momentarily unconscious. At one point, he threatened to cut out her eyes with the box cutter, she said.
As her attacker dragged her outside, Millwee was able to spit out the gag and struggled again to escape. Huff slammed her head onto the concrete sidewalk, knocking her unconscious again. When she regained her senses, she could feel someone moving her and then heard a neighbor – Greg Alagood – yelling at the assailant, asking what he was doing. “Taking her to rehab,” was the reply, according to Millwee’s testimony.
As he dragged her toward his vehicle, she grabbed at bushes, even her car tire. Alagood ran into the yard while yelling to his wife to call 911, prompting the attacker to jump into his sport utility vehicle and drive away.
Prosecutors used the penalty phase of the trial to painta dark picture of Huff. Three women who had previous encounters with Huff dating back several years testified. Millwee and the other women all lived within a mile of the home Huff shared in Leawood with his wife, Debbie, a member of the nursing faculty at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences.
Kimberly May testified that in 2006 a man went to her door saying he had a work order to repair her telephone. She responded that she was unaware of the work order and her phone was fine but asked him to wait at the door until she checked the phone. Instead, he followed her inside only to find her daughter and granddaughter in the living room. He then asked about her dog, telling her that he had wandered into her backyard to find the dog dead before leaving.
May didn’t call the police, thinking she had “just encountered a weird man. I regret that I didn’t.”
Angel Lee Burnett testified that in 2002 she pulled into her garage late one night to find a man inside. The man ran into her house and out a rear door. Her fiance, a Little Rock police officer, was with her and gave chase but lost him. She later found several undergarments missing. Burnett said she could tell that the man wasn’t expecting her to arrive home with anyone.
“It was pretty apparent to us he saw someone in the passenger seat that wasn’t supposed to be there,” she testified.
In 2009, Christina Wren testified, she was driving home one night when she saw a man at the side of the street bending over “like he was picking up something.” He turned his head “like he didn’t want me to see him.” Wren noted he was wearing a blue latex glove. Wren called 311 to report the incident rather than 911 because it wasn’t an emergency, she said.
All three women testified they recognized Huff when he was arrested in the attack on Millwee.
Later in 2009, Allison Rose testified, she opened the door to her home late one night to find her neighbor, Huff, outside. He told her that something down the hill from herhome was on fire. Her husband, Stan, dressed to go look. While waiting for him, Rose testified, she noticed Huff wearing latex gloves and, in one hand, holding what later turned out to be a BB gun. At that point, she screamed, tried to block Huff from entering the house and wrestled the gun away from him.
A standoff ensued with the Roses telling Huff to return home and Huff refusing to go unless he had the gun. Police eventually arrived, but Huff wasn’t arrested. Charges eventually were filed, but prosecutors said after Thursday’s verdict that they wouldn’t pursue them. Huff was scheduled to stand for a second trial next week.
One of two defense witnesses attorney Jack Lassiter summoned on Huff’s behalf was his wife, who pleaded for a sentence that would allow her to eventually have Huff rejoin her. “I love my husband,” a tearful Debbie Huff said. “He’s my best friend. I’m so lonely without him and so sad. I still believe he deserves our understanding, our compassion and our mercy.”
Under cross-examination from Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Jill Kamps, Debbie Huff only grudgingly acknowledged her husband was guilty of the crimes of which he was accused. She also admitted she was told about DNA evidence. She denied Kamps’ assertions that, according to police, when first told why her husband was arrested, she asked whether his victim had been hurt.
“I can’t speak to their truth,” she said.
Both of Millwee’s parents testified of the psychological fallout their daughter had endured since the attack. Before the attack, she was an outgoing, vivacious young woman just beginning her adult life, they said. Now, she cannot go alone to a grocery store and leaves all lights on at night.
“The cuts, bruises and beating went so deep into her soul it will be a lifetime before she can recover,” her mother, Becky Millwee, testified.
Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Barbara Mariani told the jury that Huff’s actions over the years represented an escalation and that they were coming closer together.
By the time Huff attacked Millwee, he had “thought about everything he was going to do,” Mariani said, recalling Millwee’s testimony showing that Huff laid out the items in front of her. “Think about that escalation when you think about that sentence.”
Noting testimony from defense witnesses about Huff being a friendly man eager to help out neighbors in need, including the Roses, Mariani said he has the “ability to blend in,” an ability that masks his “dark, evil side he can switch on” quickly. It is a nature that cannot be rehabilitated, she said.
Huff altered Millwee’s life forever, Mariani said, to the point she will “never answer the door to help someone again. Justice calls for him to be altered for life. I’m asking for justice here. He doesn’t need to get out.”
Contributing by Arkansas Online
Keeping Haleigh in our thoughts and prayers.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Kids on Facebook – Every parent, adult and child must be educated about internet safety. Please read, digest and share the following information with your loved ones and others. You never know how many lives you may touch today.
After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:
Hi. I’m glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don’t you live in a safe neighborhood?
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz’ I didn’t see anybody when I looked out.
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven’t done that have you?
Of course not. I’m not stupid you know.
Did you have a softball game after school today?
Yes, and we won!!
That’s great! Who did you play?
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL
What is your team called?
We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.
Did you pitch?
No, I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don’t want them mad at me. Bye!
Catch you later. Bye
Meanwhile, GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.
Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had told him all this in the conversations they had on-line. He had enough information to find her now.
Shannon didn’t tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ballpark that day. She didn’t want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn’t be so overprotective.
By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.
Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.
He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn’t look scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear she had felt.
After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him.. He nodded and she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her.
Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon’s home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.
Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon’s house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.
Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room.
“Shannon, come here,” her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn’t imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.
“Sit down,” her father began, “this man has just told us a most interesting story about you.”
Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen him before today!
“Do you know who I am, Shannon ?” the man asked.
“No,” Shannon answered.
“I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123.”
Shannon was stunned. “That’s impossible! GoTo123 is a kid my age! He’s 14. And he lives in Michigan !”
The man smiled. “I know I told you all that, but it wasn’t true. You see, Shannon , there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. You named the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze.”
Shannon was stunned. “You mean you don’t live in Michigan ?”
He laughed. “No, I live in Raleigh . It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn’t it?”
“I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn’t as lucky. The guy found her, did bad things to her and then murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you’ve learned a lesson from this and won’t do it again. And, please tell others about this so they will be safe too, okay?”
“It’s a promise!”
That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic situation.
Madison Police Dept.
116 Center St W
Madison, SD 57042
Via Amber Alerts-us
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Susan Murphy-Milano is a non-fiction author and violence expert—Host of a weekly radio show “Time’s Up” addresses real-life unsolved and missing person’s cases featuring family members of unsolved crimes, missing persons and intimate partner violence and homicides. She is defender of victims’ rights. A radio show host, Susan has appeared on numerous shows including Oprah, 20/20, American Justice, A & E, Sunday Today, E True Hollywood, A & E, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN. As a nationally recognized women’s advocate, she was intrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Act.
In 1989, after the murder of her mother by her father, a Chicago violent crimes detective, she vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides are handled and investigated.
The criteria for selecting cases relies heavily from a commitment of family members to pursue the case.
Case factors will include: the existence of suspects, persons of interest, witnesses and relevant documents; whether over time circumstances may have changed that will allow for additional witness cooperation; and whether there is new technology available to re-examine original evidence.
The families will be required to participate in the investigative effort by providing open and sincere assistance to include: submitting to interviews; providing necessary documentation and contact information of witnesses; facilitating interviews with witnesses or sources where appropriate; and signing required releases.
To be considered for a future show email us at email@example.com
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Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of “Time’s Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships,” available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, “Time’s Up!” on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth
They did all the things that siblings do when they get together after having been months and miles apart. They went shopping for slippers and chatted about hairdos. They visited their grandmother for Christmas. They sat up late watching movies and eating cookies.
“You know, being sisters.”
Deena Barnes stresses that point in interviews, including her most recent on an Internet radio program, trying to dispel stories swirling about strange men and alcohol in her Northwest Baltimore apartment in the days before her younger half-sister, Phylicia, disappeared on the afternoon of Dec. 28.
More than a month after the 16-year-old from North Carolina went missing wearing her new white slipper-boots, Baltimore police say they have no idea what happened to the track star and honors student who had planned to graduate early from high school and attend Towson University.
As promising leads fizzle, and searches turn up nothing, the baffling case has taken a toll not only on Phylicia’s family but on police as well.
“This is a young girl who was well-liked in high school,” said the lead investigator, Detective Daniel T. Nicholson IV of the homicide unit. “She was doing what any young person would do, visiting her family . . . and she vanished from the face of the earth. That’s hard to believe.”
Nicholson, a 17-year police veteran who has two daughters, said he’s in daily contact with Phylicia’s father, who travels between Baltimore and his home in Atlanta, and with her mother in Monroe, N.C. His biggest fear, he says, is that “it’s not going to be a happy ending.”
Authorities have repeatedly questioned a dozen people who they said had access to Deena Barnes’s basement apartment, including Deena’s ex-boyfriend, the last known person to see Phylicia alive.
Police searched more than three dozen locations, put up billboards, sought national media attention, staffed a round-the-clock hotline and drained sewer water from an old well in a shed. Not a single credible clue or sighting has emerged, they said.
Detectives have said there is no history of family trouble that would cause the teen to run away, no history of drug or alcohol use or abuse, no emotional issues.
Even more troubling, they say, is that no one has reported seeing her since her sister’s ex-boyfriend reported her asleep on the living room couch. The ex-boyfriend now has an attorney; police said several of the people they’ve talked to have retained legal representation.
Phylicia Barnes’s relatives are torn. They want media attention but are reluctant to grant interviews.
Phylicia’s mother, Janice Sallis, has accused 27-year-old Deena of condoning alcohol use and allowing men to come and go from her apartment when Phylicia visited.
The missing girl’s father, Russell Barnes, has denounced Sallis.
The day Phylicia disappeared, Deena said she left for work and texted and talked with Phylicia several times during the morning. Another sister, Kelly Barnes, had planned to pick up Phylicia that afternoon.
Deena said in the radio interview that she spoke to her ex-boyfriend, who said Phylicia was sleeping on the couch when he left. Kelly said she repeatedly tried to contact Phylicia between 12:30 and 1:30 p.m., but got no answer.
Deena returned to the apartment about 6 p.m., she told the radio interviewer, and found her sister missing. She called Kelly first, thinking the two were together, then called her father, other relatives, her ex-boyfriend and friends.
At 7:30 p.m., she called police.
Anyone with information on the disappearance of 16-year-old Phylicia Simone Barnes is urged to call Baltimore police at 855-223-0033. The toll-free number is staffed 24 hours a day. Phylicia is about 5 feet 8 inches tall and weighs about 120 pounds. She was last seen wearing a blue pea coat with a hood, a turquoise thermal shirt, blue jeans and white slipper boots and was carrying a caramel-colored purse. Police urge anyone who thinks they have seen Phylicia Barnes to call 911.
Respectfully submitted via The Washingtonpost.com; By Peter Hermann
Baltimore MD. Last week authorities in Baltimore were at a loss for tips and leads in the case of missing Phylicia Barnes. They had made reference to the fact that the case had not gotten national attention. That has changed now.
The Nancy Grace Show featured the case last night and will be covering it again tonite. CNN’s Headline News has also been running spots today about the case. A public outcry for coverage by people online has been ongoing. This service contacted several of the major news channels requesting coverage as a part of that online campaign. But is it too little too late?
Reportedly Baltimore Police Spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said “I feel like we missed our golden window in trying to find her, not that we don’t appreciate the efforts, but it would have been great if we had gotten a little more exposure when this was one or two days fresh”. He also said he was grateful for the coverage that the case has now been receiving.
Authorities believe Phylicia has been abducted. They are hoping that someone will see her photo and remember seeing something.
She has been missing over 2 weeks now and today is Phylicia’s birthday. She turned 17 years old today and her whereabouts remain unknown. This must be an especially hard day for her family emotionally. Our thoughts and prayers, along with 10s of thousands of others across the nation, are with them and Phylicia. We all hope for her safe return. There has been Facebook site set up for Phylicia here Pray For Phylicia Barnes.
Authorities have set up a special tip line. Anyone with information on Phylicia Barnes’ disappearance should call 855-223-0033.
Radio Amber Alert Video – Phylicia Barnes
Respectfully submitted via Internet Radio Amber Alerts News Service