Star Jones tweeted the following, “sexual deviance is not a “preference”. I “prefer” to live in Buckingham Palace…but if I go there uninvited…they will arrest me.
“Ok, ok, let me catch you up in case you haven’t heard…Doug Anthony Hutchison, the Lost actor, 51 and minor teen, Courtney Alexis Stodden, age 16 has caused quite a stir in the media as they revealed that they were married in May in Las Vegas. I can just imagine the look on your face and what you are thinking at this moment – my head actually hurts from shaking it from side to side.
The first question that is raised is…”is this legal?” According to the marriage license page for Clark County, Las Vegas, it’s easy. Minor applicants who are 16 or 17 years old can obtain a marriage license with two things: an original or certified copy of their birth certificate, and a parent or legal guardian who will provide his or her consent. Answer: Yes.
Minor Courtney’s mom, Krista Stodden, approved of her daughter’s marriage despite the 35-year age difference and that at least one of Courtney’s parents did sign the necessary permission form. Mr. and Mrs. Stodden seem to adore Hutchison and that they are both supportive of the marriage.
So many things come to mind with this relationship/marriage; I honestly do not know where to begin. What compelled Hutchison to marry a “child”/minor or even have an interest in any way?
Hutchison was born May 26, 1960 (51 years old this year), known for his roles in The Green Mile, The X-Files, Lost and 24. He owns the production company, Dark Water, Inc. Hutchison’s first marriage lasted two years and is now married to minor, Courtney Stodden.
Courtney Alexis Stodden –
When Stodden was born Toy Story was all the rage in theaters, Bill Clinton was busy achieving a budget surplus, and Crystal Pepsi had just been taken off the shelves.
Star Jones hit the target as it is apparent that Hutchison definitely has sexual desires and behaviors considered to be unusual or abnormal, i.e. sexual preference is a child. And, the majority of individuals with a sexual deviation (if caught) would be in trouble with the law. A sixteen year-old teenager does not have the insight nor maturity to make a rational decision to marry nor to be seriously involved to this degree. The honeymoon phase will dissipate and then what?
As a parent, I am appalled that her parents would condone their daughter’s wishes, behavior and actually give her permission to marry or even consider dating this man. Hutchison is older than her father! The majority of parents who would do this (if caught) would be slammed with human trafficking charges. Think about it. Does anyone else see $$$$$$$$$$ in this arrangement?
It’s surprising that Courtney was required to produce her birth certificate and permission form (reminds me of field trip requirements for kids) – the majority of people are feeling that she is older than 16 by her appearance. The Officiator was on his/her toes with this ceremony.
A further note of consideration – Nevada lawmakers really need to re-think, add and move to the top of their agenda to abolish this existing law that is in place that allows minors 16 and 17 years old to wed in their state. What does it truly say about the moral’s of the lawmakers of Nevada? I know, I know….if there’s a will, there’s a way but this is truly allowing child sexual abuse to exist without any ramifications – no law to protect these kids. And, neither kids, parents or ephebophile’s (the sexual preference of adults for mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19; in sexual ethics it may be defined as a sexual preference for girls generally 14-16 years old and boys 14-19 years old.) need additional encouragement or avenues to assist in their deviant ways.
And, will Courtney be homeschooled or will she attend a high school near Hutchinson’s home? Or will she eventually get her GED? She is a child, perhaps outwardly mature for her age but she is only 16…..only of legal age to get a driver’s license.
Are you feeling the mix of everything that smells soooooooooo wrong in ALL ways?
Many feel that this marriage was truly for promotional purposes only and they are certainly getting the attention. For how long, only time will tell. You can listen to Courtney’s music on her website – you decide. It is understood that Courtney is a client of Hutchison’s production company, Dark Water, Inc. where she is attempting to promote a CD.
Personally, I don’t care for her music nor am I fan of Hutchison but I do care about the message that is being sent to other “kids” who may listen to her music and become fans. I am hoping that parents are tuning into their “kids” and at least are in the same chapter. Not always are we on the same page with our “kids”. It’s imperative to at least be in sync with them.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
HICKORY, N.C. — Kristie Pope decided to create an organization to help fight child abuse after hearing about a 10-year-old disabled girl whose remains were found weeks after she was reported missing.
The Hickory Daily News reported Sunday that Pope started The Zahra Project in memory of Zahra Baker who needed hearing aids and had a prosthetic leg after a battle with cancer. Police are investigating her death as a homicide and no one has been charged with killing her.
Zahra Baker’s stepmother has been charged with obstruction, accused of faking a ransom note to mislead investigators. Elisa Baker also told authorities that Zahra’s body was dismembered after she died. No cause of death has been publicly revealed.
Pope, a 40-year-old mother of three, says 6,000 people are following The Zahra Project that she started on Facebook in October.Neighbors and relatives have said that Elisa Baker had a short temper and was abusive toward her stepdaughter. Caldwell County Department of Social Services investigated the family because Zahra went to school with bruises and a teacher alerted school officials, who have said they are prohibited by law from discussing the case.
“I wanted to get people together who were sick of watching how DSS has failed kids,” Pope said.Pope, a dog trainer who lives in Greensboro, was in Hickory for a dog show when Zahra was reported missing.”It was the closeness of it. It was just up the street from me,” she said. “Here I was, showing my dog and I wondered if I could have made better use of my time.“Part of the goal of The Zahra Project is to get legislation written to try to prevent the deaths of children from abuse.”I think there were a lot of people thinking like I was, wishing we could make a change,” Pope said. “There are strengths in numbers, and we can make a change. We just have to get all our resources together.”As Pope envisions it, “Zahra’s Bill” would create tougher penalties for people who abuse children and would punish parents or legal guardians if they are present when someone else abuses their child among other things.
HICKORY, NC — A North Carolina newspaper is reporting that 10-year-old Zahra Baker’s dismembered body was concealed in a bed comforter and a car cover before being discarded in a dumpster behind a Hudson grocery store, according to court documents.
The Charlotte Observer reports that several warrants were released Tuesday by order of Superior Court Judge Nathaniel Poovey.
Prosecutors wanted them to remain secret, saying their release could jeopardize the investigation.
Zahra Baker, who had used a prosthetic leg and hearing aids after a bout with cancer, was reported missing in October and police say they found her remains earlier this month.
Eleven warrants detail the account of the girl’s stepmother, Elisa Baker, whose lawyers say she led police to the girl’s remains. The warrants say a polygraph test showed deception when police asked if she hurt the girl.
The warrants don’t say how Zahra died. No one has been charged in her death. Elisa Baker is jailed on charges of obstructing the investigation. Zahra’s father, Adam Baker, is free on bond after being arrested on unrelated charges.
According to documents released Tuesday, Elisa Baker –through her attorney– admitted that she and her husband wrapped the girl’s prosthetic leg in a white trash bag and threw it in the apartment dumpster.
The documents also show, Elisa Baker said she and Adam Baker dumped a mattress and box springs at a trash dump.
Meanwhile, a memorial service for Zahra Baker has been postponed.
Her family had planned a public memorial service on Thursday, but Drum Funeral Home in Hickory says it has decided to make the service private and hold it at a later date.
The funeral home will allow guests to stop by and sign a register book and view a tribute with photographs of the girl Thursday from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. and Friday from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Burial plans for Baker have not been determined. Adam Baker has said in a televised interview that after the case is over, he would like to return to Australia with his daughter’s remains. Adam Baker met his wife on the Internet while he was living in Australia.
More than 1,000 people attended a vigil in downtown Hickory on Nov. 16 — what would have been the girl’s 11th birthday.
Respectfully submitted via ABC11
Zahra Baker: Her Tragic Demise
Zahra Baker is a little girl who lived with her father and step-mother in Hickory, North Carolina. She is the picture of innocence, freckle-faced and smiling in every photo. She is a cancer survivor, loved by her friends and classmates. She is the proverbial “girl next door.”
Thirteen days ago Zahra Baker was reported missing. No one knows what has happened to Zahra these past two weeks. But what we do know is that she has been for many months a victim of domestic abuse.
The headlines tell the tale of her disappearance and the search for clues for her abductor. It is a tragedy. It is tragic not only because the inquiry into her disappearance quickly became a homicide investigation; it is also tragic because of how she was treated while we know she was alive, and how we reacted.
Nearly every account given by members of her family and by her friends described a life of suffering at the hands of her stepmother. Locked in her room, beaten and bruised, Zahra is like a character found in some fable written long ago. We hope and pray that Zahra’s story will have a miraculous and happy ending. Its beginning, however, has been told and retold in articles and interviews of friends and relatives… and it is a tragedy — a saga that began long before Zahra was reported missing.
The real shame is in the way Zahra was treated by her family and in the tacit acceptance with which we — her friends, neighbors and community — allowed her plight to unfold in our view, in our midst and in our silence.
How many beautiful, bright-eyed little girls must die or go missing before we are willing to reveal domestic violence for the scourge that it is in America?
How many hundreds of thousands of hours must police officers, sheriffs and federal agents spend sifting through garbage containers, mulch piles and ponds before it is too late and a child or a neighbor has gone missing?
How many social workers must open files and police officers respond to complaints, only to leave in despair when family members and friends protect the abusers from prosecution, before we are willing to stand together for what is right without pressure or shame?
How many prosecutors will go to court unprepared or leave frustrated because they or their judges do not consider domestic assaults on loved ones to be “real” crimes, before we can believe that the system works?
How many times will each of us defend someone by asking “what did she do to deserve it?”, before we realize that we have become part of the culture that has to change?
What did little Zahra Baker do to deserve her abuse? What did she do? She faced down cancer with a smile and overcame physical challenges with an irrepressible spirit… that is what she did.
But even this joyful little angel could not overcome or escape the ravaging of what has been described by friends and family as domestic abuse. How many Zahra’s have we watched in silent acceptance of the horrors that have been recounted as her daily life? Whether Zahra Baker is ever found and her abductor or killer brought to justice, her treatment — before her disappearance — is an indictment of us all.
It is not enough for victims to speak out, if we are not willing to listen and to speak with them!
It is not enough for victims to stand up, if we are not willing to help them up and to stand with them!
It is not enough for victims to walk away, unless we are willing to show them a path and to walk with them!
Domestic violence affects one in every three women in America. Who is that one in your life? And, what are you doing today to protect her?
Break the silence; end domestic violence!! ©
Written by David Moretti, Board Member for Becky’s Fund, a national nonprofit organization focused on domestic violence prevention and education.
Learn more about Becky’s Fund and how you can get involved.
Saturday, May 8th is a special day where we pay tribute to Mom!
Our families may do something nice for us, we may do something nice for mom. But what do we do to honor ourselves for Mother’s Day?
We spend so much time taking care of the needs of others that we don’t do enough for ourselves. One important part of the healing journey is being able to take time for yourself – to reflect, to clear your head, to figure out a way to rid yourself of the negativity in your life so that you can move forward in a positive direction.
What do YOU do to unwind when you’ve had a stressful day?
Do you read, meditate, exercise, take a walk?
Care to share what works for you? If you do, the trick is – it can’t cost any money!
Join Ivette on Saturday, May 8 at 11 am with guest Co-host Anny Jacoby, Owner/President of The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company. Anny has been a prior guest on My Life My Soul Talk Radio. She is also a fellow survivor of domestic violence, an advocate and most importantly – A Mother.
No talking shop – just two mothers sharing what has worked for them in their personal healing journey.
Loving Yourself For Mother’s Day on My Life My Soul
April 26, 2010
We hear the term, “Domestic Abuse,” thrown around quite a bit and it is worth taking a look at what it really means in our own lives. Is it physical, mental, or both? When does one spouse’s treatment of the other cross the line from just imperfect humans struggling in a relationship to one partner mistreating the other? After all, we know that marriage can be “work” and issues have to be dealt with and ironed out. We are going to disagree, even argue and be mad at each other, and, sometimes, we are not going to actually be able to kiss and make-up before bedtime. When should one start to worry that there is something really wrong with our marriage partnership?
I would say it is when the “partnership” becomes a boss and employee relationship and the boss is someone we would like to fire. While everyone wants power and control in life, a spouse must be willing to share that power and control with their partner, work together to achieve a balance where both parties are satisfied with the equation. Doing so is not a problem for those who love their spouse and want to see their spouse happy and want to achieve a positive and pleasing family life. Working together is an expectation for a committed couple and being good role models for the children is a natural desire for caring parents.
When one spouse becomes the master, putting his or her needs and desires above the spouse’s, doesn’t care how his/her mate feels, ignores the impact of this imbalance on the children, this is abuse – whether it is in the form of emotional manipulation of physical domination.
Ideally, one should wait a reasonable period of time before having children to see if one’s mate is one’s best friend, that you work out fair solutions to problems, that your beloved really loves you, and you are happy together. You need a couple of years, if not more, to find out whether you have just signed up for a partnership or a prison term. If your marriage sucks, having children in it will make it suck more and, worse, it will trap you for years and years as now you have a family you don’t want to destroy.
But, let’s suppose you have already blown it and you are stuck in a nightmare; you are being mentally or physically tortured with regularity and you fear your mate instead of feeling safe in their company. It’s time to make the decision to leave. Susan Milano-Murphy, one of my fellow bloggers at Women in Crime Ink knows well when someone should make a break for it and titles her new book on escaping abuse, TIME’S UP: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship.
If you are not frightened of your mate, you can simply state you want a separation, make plans to live in different residences, and, if you feel there is any hope through counseling, give your spouse a chance to make a change if he/she really wants to do so. If you think past behavior is pretty much a predictor of future behavior, then you are probably right (because it usually is), and you need to make the best choices you can for the well-being of the children.
But, if you are in a physically dangerous situation, if your spouse has been violent or threatening or coldly psychopathologically scary, you will want to get Susan’s book, TIME’S UP! This book doesn’t merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues…she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don’t need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME’S UP can save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.
Fort Lauderdale News Seattle Headlines Examiner
April 12, 10:50 PM Seattle Headlines Examiner Isabelle Zehnder
Time’s Up! by Susan Murphy-Milano
Courtesy of Susan Murphy-Milano
Via Lisa Michels
April 12, 2010 – According to Susan Murphy-Milano, Susan Cox Powell is a great example of a woman who could have benefited from her newly released book “Time’s Up!”.
Susan Murphy-Milano believes that with the proliferation of deaths due to domestic violence, something has to be done, something different, and something effective.
Murphy-Milano is a 20-year veteran of family violence, having discovered the bodies of her mother and father after her father shot and killed them both. The memory of that day is forever etched in her memory. She is driven to help other women who are victims of domestic violence in their own homes.
Her newest book, “Time’s Up”, A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,” was released April 12, 2010. (Click here to order.)
“Time’s Up!” guides the victim towards safety by showing them the unseen pitfalls of leaving a violent relationship and how to navigate around them.
“Time’s Up!” also has explicit details and instructions how to fill out an “Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit”, one of the unique things that Murphy-Milano has created and used through the years in high danger cases which has saved the lives of many.
You can actually live free from a life of abuse and violence using creative approaches developed by Susan Murphy Milano in her new book, “Time’s Up!”
You can’t Google the strategies and escape plans utilized by Susan who has devised a way that works and has been tested by time for over 20 years. Just like DNA, your road map will be uniquely your own because each safety plan is individual.
More than just a “to do” list, this book is a “must do” list if you are caught in a life threatening situation.
- How to properly hire a lawyer,
- How to find an apartment,
- How to keep your personal records safe,
- How to deal with stalking
- How to set up visitation and child support
- How to stay 10 steps ahead of the abuser
Susan Murphy Milano has been in the streets and shelters helping women escape from bad relationships and has developed creative ways out of frightening situations. There are domestic violence organizations and advocates who call on Susan daily to get her expert opinion on cases of battered women and how to get them on a track of freedom and safety. :
“I cannot emphasize how important this book is to all the women in your life. Even if you are in a good, stable relationship, buy this book, keep it handy. One day, when you least expect it, someone close to you will need it. It can save a life—many lives.” `Diane Fanning, author of The Calylee Anthony Case “Mommy’s Liitle Giirl”, “Written in Blood”, ” Gone Forever” St. Martin’s Press ( her website is http://www.dianefanning.com)
Previous books, “Defending Our Lives” and “Moving Out, Moving On” are benchmarks dealing with issues domestic violence safety plans and are used throughout the country as examples of what to do should you be caught in a violent relationship. “Time’s Up!” uses the foundations and helps you to build your own, unique safety plan allowing you to escape safely and rebuild your life.
Following is an excerpt from another book written by Susan Murphy-Milano, “Moving out, moving on”:
If you are in a relationship, you must be treated with respect, which means your boyfriend or partner:
is willing to compromise
lets you feel comfortable being yourself
is able to admit to being wrong
tries to resolve conflict by talking honestly
respects your feelings, your opinions and your friends
accepts you saying no to things you don’t want to do (like sex)
accepts you changing your mind
respects your wishes if you want to end the relationship
When someone loves you; you feel valued, respected and free to be yourself. You shouldn’t be made to feel intimidated or controlled.
Think about your relationship – do you feel respected?
Susan Murphy-Milano is a specialist in family violence and works nationally with domestic violence programs, law enforcement and prosecutors providing technical and consulting services in “high risk” domestic violence and stalking related cases.
Her principal objective is to intervene before a victim is seriously injured or killed.
Murphy-Milano believes if missing women such as Susan Cox Powell, Renee Pernice, Stacy Peterson, and others, had created this abuse document the person responsible for their disappearance would be arrested (click here for abuse document and video).
Murphy-Milano is an advocate for women in abusive relationships across the country. She advocates for stronger laws to protect women. She has helped women feel protected by providing education and a safe haven. Click here for an overview of Susan’s work.
About Susan Murphy-Milano
Susan Murphy-Milano is often praised as one of the most dynamic and engaging speakers of our day in the domestic violence prevention field.
As an expert in the area of intimate partner violence and the prevention of homicide, Susan has created specific tools and procedures which the abused need to safely leave a violent relationship.
Her books, “Defending Our Lives”, “Moving Out, Moving On” and “Time’s Up!” are considered the “bibles” of how to make the move away from abuse and deal with the many confusing situations surrounding violence prevention, stalking, break-up or divorce.
Susan witnessed her father, a decorated Chicago Violent crimes Detective, brutally and violently attack her mother repeatedly. The words “if you leave I will kill you,” turned into reality the night Susan walked into her childhood home and found her mother murdered and her father in the next room dead from a self-inflicted gun-shot wound to the head.
Susan vowed then, and has, since the murder-suicide of her parents, carved out a road map making changes in the way the world looks at violence in and outside the home.
Her books and strategies are taught world-wide and used by law enforcement, domestic abuse advocates, social workers, attorneys, health care workers, human resource departments and domestic violence agencies. The comprehensive strategies and escape plans utilized by Susan have been successful and tested by time for over 20 years.
Susan uses humor, passion, and all her years of experience to motivate her audience to become more effective first responders, advocates and professionals in their work to stop family violence.
Susan’s quest for justice was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lauternberg Act.
She has been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC’S 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women’s Day, Family Circle, US News and World Report to name only a few.
She has frequently participated in guest media commentary panels on major news programs. She is a contributor to the online blogs Women and Crime Ink and the crime survivors blog Time’s Up.
Susan Murphy-Milano is the author of “Defending Our Lives” published by Doubleday books and “Moving Out Moving On” when a relationship goes wrong.
Her newest book, “Time’s Up!” A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships, is available on-line and in bookstores.
Susan is host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show and will be participating in the new television show, “Crime Wire” which will examine cases in which the investigations have left questions unanswered and possible criminal activity unexposed. Her Website is www.susanmurphymilano.com.