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Pinwheels Call Attention to Child Abuse, Ways to Identify and Prevent It!

April 1, 2012 Comments off

Many communities “plant pinwheel gardens” each April of colorful pinwheels spinning in the wind which represents a child living in the community who was abused last year.

April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month and many local organizations offer tips on preventing abuse.

Congress first declared April as National Child Abuse Awareness Month, a time designated each year to raise awareness about child abuse and neglect, in 1983, and each year the president issues a proclamation calling on Americans to use the month to help prevent child abuse.

The first step in helping abused children is learning to recognize the symptoms of child abuse.  Although child abuse is divided into four types – physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse and emotional maltreatment – the types are more typically found in combination than alone.  A physically abused child for example is often emotionally maltreated as well, and a sexually abused child may be also neglected.  Any child at any age may experience any of the types of child abuse.

Child abuse leaves more than just bruises.  Long after children have recovered from the physical results of any type of abuse, abused children suffer from emotional and psychological trauma that can last the rest of their lives.

Unfortunately, many bystanders witness child abuse and do nothing about it. Neighbors and friends may hear or even see child abuse happening, but don’t want to intrude or interfere with “the rights” of the parents.  Such inaction can mean years of pain and heartbreak for young children who are unable to get out of a horrific situation.

Abused children need your intervention.  In their helplessness, they must rely on capable adults who are willing to take a stand and get them out of an abusive environment.  By being aware of child abuse, and helping to educate the people you know, you can help prevent child abuse in your community.

Identifying Child Abuse

While it is impossible to determine the presence of abuse or neglect by behavior, the following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect:

The Child:

  • Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
  • Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parent’s attention
  • Has learning problems or difficulty concentrating that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
  • Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
  • Lacks adult supervision•Is overly compliant, passive or withdrawn
  • Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home

The Parent:

  • Shows little concern for the child
  • Denies the existence of, or blames the child for the child’s problems in school or at home
  • Asks teachers or other caretakers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
  • Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
  • Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
  • Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

The Parent and the Child:

  • Rarely touch or look at each other
  • Consider their relationship entirely negative
  • State that they do not like each other

Preventing Child Abuse

Learn about child abuse.  Educate yourself and keep these key facts in mind:

  • Child abusers can be any age, any gender and any race.  They can be from any economic class, and have any level of education.
  • Children are more likely to be abused by their own parents than by a stranger.
  • Rarely does an incident of child abuse happen in isolation.  When a child is abused once, it is likely to happen again.
  • Educate your neighbors and friends about child abuse.

Stop child abuse when you see it.  If you have trouble identifying the difference between child abuse and acceptable forms of discipline, learn the Federal and State laws and find resources that distinguish between discipline and abuse.  Do not hesitate to contact the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-Child).  During your anonymous call, their counselors can help you evaluate the situation and help you make a child abuse report to the proper authorities.  If you are nervous about making a report, they will even stay on the line during a 3-way call to offer you support.  If a child is in life-threatening danger, call 911 immediately.

It’s time that people take a stand against child abuse.  Your simple actions will help prevent child abuse and give abused children hope for a brighter future.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

9/11 – 2011 – Tributes and Tears

September 11, 2011 1 comment

The terror attack on America a decade ago rippled through the nation, changing us in countless ways.

Robert Peraza, who lost his son Robert David Peraza, pauses at his son’s name at the North Pool of the 9/11 Memorial during tenth anniversary ceremonies at the site of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2011, in New York City. New York City and the nation are commemorating the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on lower Manhattan which resulted in the deaths of 2,753 people after two hijacked planes crashed into the World Trade Center.

The Pentagon Memorial, located just southwest of The Pentagon in Arlington County, … To honor the 184 victims, 184 illuminated benches have been arranged …The Pentagon Memorial commemorates the 184 lives lost on September 11, 2001 during the attack at the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia.The Pentagon Memorial commemorates the 184 lives lost on September 11, 2001.

The families of the 40 passengers and crew killed when Flight 93 knifed into a rural Pennsylvania field a decade ago today were praised for helping to inspire a new generation of Americans while keeping the memories of their loved ones’ dedication and courage burning brightly.

At a ceremony marking the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, nearly 5,000 people listened as the names of the passengers and crew who were killed were read aloud while bells tolled. Afterward, a choir sang as those in the crowd — including family members, first responders, politicians and nearly 1,000 people who came to participate — listened intently.

Blessings – keeping all in our thoughts and prayers.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Sexual Assault Can Be Prevented

April 12, 2011 5 comments

It can happen at home. It can happen at work. It can happen in a car. It can happen in a dorm. Sexual assault occurs whenever someone is forced, coerced or manipulated into any unwanted sexual activity. The list of offenses is graphic and includes rape, incest, date rape, marital rape, sexual harassment, child sexual assault, stranger rape, forced prostitution, exposure, voyeurism and statutory rape. Silence continues to surround the topic of sexual assault, yet according to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, one in six American women and one in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. Seventy three percent of rapes were committed by a non-stranger — a friend, intimate, relative or acquaintance. In other words, sexual assaults are happening more often to people we love by people they know, rather than the stranger hiding in the bushes. And it’s happening to our daughters, mothers, girlfriends, sons and co-workers.

There are many myths that still exist today that place blame on the victim, such as past consensual sex, whether alcohol was involved and even the type of clothing worn by the victim. No one, under any circumstances, deserves to be sexually assaulted . Period. Sexual assault is not about sexual desire gone wrong but about power and control over another, utilizing sex as a weapon. Most often sexual assault happens as a pervasive result of attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that assert male privilege over females, as evidenced by advertising, music videos, video games and other media. When males are taught to respect their peers, both male and female, how to understand boundaries, the elements of consent and how to appropriately challenge negative behaviors of peers, then change at the individual level can happen. However, beyond individual responsibility, we need organizations that support the redefining of positive parameters that define masculinity beyond brute strength and sexual activity. We need organizations that challenge young people to develop effective communication and negotiation skills for healthy relationships. We need systems that support victims and understand the devastating impact of trauma due to sexual assault. We need churches, educational institutions, community agencies, parents and youth organizations to step out of the box and talk about sexual assault in authentic, informed and creative ways.

Sexual violence is preventable. However, prevention is more than educating individuals concerning objectification and healthy sexual boundaries. By following the Spectrum of Prevention, a tool developed by the Prevention Institute and tailored by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, communities like yours can participate in comprehensive sexual-violence prevention initiatives. The spectrum consists of strengthening individual knowledge and skills, promoting community education, educating professional providers, fostering coalitions and networks, changing organizational practices and, finally, influencing policies and legislation.

Programs to help youth navigate the maze of relationships that often includes violence in many forms. Teens-4-Change is a social-change organization for young women ages 14 to 18 that focuses on healthy bodies, minds and relationships. R.A.P., Raising Awareness and Prevention, works with males at the high-school and college level to challenge pervasive attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that perpetuate sexual violence.

Take the opportunity during April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, to learn more, do more and understand more about an issue that affects entire communities. Challenge leaders to reinforce positive cultural norms and send clear and consistent messages that sexual violence is traumatic in any form, as well as inappropriate. Because sexual violence happens in all races, socio-economic classes, genders and age groups, we need to send the message to everyone that no one, under any circumstances, should be blamed for being sexually violated. Intervention is important and necessary; however, primary prevention, stopping sexual violence before it ever starts, is a worthy goal for ALL communities.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

 

 

Contributor Al Renna

“Coming Home” on Lifetime…

March 6, 2011 6 comments

The powerful all-new reality series “Coming Home,” featuring U.S. soldiers’ surprise family reunions after serving long tours of duty on behalf of the country, pays tribute to American armed forces personnel and their families. “Coming Home” will follow the unforgettable and inspiring surprise reunions of soldiers from all five branches of the military with their spouses, children, parents and other loved ones as they return home from active duty throughout the world.

Stacy Pendarvis  is a military wife and openly admits that she has “never been a good army wife” but has been steadfast and supportive of her husband Bill during his military career.  Stacy announced in February that her husband, Bill “FINALLY” officially filed retirement paperwork.  She does honestly say “a great soldier is ending a great run and I’m filled with pride, anticipation and excitement!

Today, Stacy posted the following thought provoking, heartfelt message on her Facebook page.  I would like to share words directly from a military wife.

Let me apologize in advance but this has been bugging me for a while and I have nowhere else to say it but FB, so you get it.   By now we all know I’m not the sticker sporting military wife…but lifetime is airing a show  “Coming Home” tonight and I’m sure it will be a tear jerker and full of sweet moments…happy for their ratings, but….

When do we as a group of like-minded individuals, as a society in general, talk about the bad stuff happening in military families? The sad parts of deployment, the stress and trauma on those left behind, the marriages that break up, the stuff soldiers are going through from SO MANY deployments for SO LONG, and the stuff their wives are dealing with watching them deal with it…or NOT deal with it, the things the children are dealing with because their fathers are gone for years and years of their lives (and the things we’ve not even discovered yet that they will have to deal with from all of this)?????? I am so glad Bill is getting out but I still have friends saying goodbye and living with this and my heart aches for them… and when they say goodbye and cry, I cry…. who cares about the homecomings, they are so short-lived and we already know another deployment is looming. If people want to do something, do something real. Enough of this candy coated care package, say thank you stuff, it’s nice but what does it really do? what does thank you do for a closet alcoholic suffering in silence from PTSD whose life is falling apart who won’t get help? The military needs to step up their family support (mental health PREVENTION and TREATMENT, strengthening marriages and resiliency in children, etc…) We all think we’re fine… it’s an illusion for so many families. It doesn’t always end in tragic murders or abuse or even anything dramatic, although sadly too often it does…but years of separation and deployment takes it toll on kids even if we don’t see it happen oh so slowly and it probably takes its toll on the soldier and spouse as well even if they don’t have problems! If folks want to help, that’s where to do it.

Stacy’s holds a Master’s degree in Social Work and a Masters degree in Academic Psychology from East Carolina University; 15+ years experience in child/family services and child abuse prevention and has been a adjunct faculty member of Social work and Psychology at several North Carolina universities.

Thank you Stacy for allowing me to share your experience and most inner thoughts with fellow military families and with our country who really doesn’t get it in most cases.  “Walk a mile in their shoes” and one will truly feel the toll that those who serve, and what spouses and children go through on a daily basis.

Take care and STAY SAFE!  Blessings my friend.

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