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Posts Tagged ‘New York Times’

An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit can save your life!

November 21, 2012 2 comments

An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is the mastermind process of domestic violence expert Susan Murphy Milano that combines video taping of the victims actual words attesting to the abuse coupled with creative witnessed and notarized legal documents that successfully satisfy legal hurdles often faced in these intimate partner violence and stalking cases.  Susan has worked countless hours to move mountains in the way an abuse situation is handled.It combines past history of abuse, testimony,documentation, and evidence in a all in one video to support your statements of abuse as well as satisfy the courts.

The EAA was born out of the Stacey Peterson case.  It was created to make sure if you disappear your fears and words do not.  Stacey’s case reminds us we need the words of the victim otherwise even if everyone knows it is the abuser they get away with it.  Proof is needed.  Murphy-Milano says, “Had either Kathleen Savio or Stacy Peterson prepared an EAA, there would be no question of a prompt arrest. The EAA also gives law enforcement and investigators information about the alleged perpetrator allowing the victim to speak from the grave on her own behalf, should that be necessary.  Think of the millions saved in taxpayer dollars!”

Susan has worked with prosecutors and victims all over the world.  Since her creation not one of the people she has worked with has been killed.  That in itself is a miracle since the U.S. Surgeon general finds domestic violence as the leading cause of health problems in our country.  One in every three women will be victimized.

The EAA is easy to use, very detailed and walks the victim through the steps needed to cross any line drawn in prosecutions case.  It contains the evidence and statements necessary to prosecute should the victim be harmed.

Until now the response when you are abused has been:

  • victims are told to report (but action is only taken if you can show evidence of the abuse).
  • Victims are told to go to a shelter.
  • Victims are told to get a restraining order (but usually only granted if there is evidence of the abuse)
  • Victims are told to move away (but leaving behind careers, family, and assets).
  • Victims are told to stay with someone else.
  • Victims are told stalking is hard to prove and stalking laws are often weak and poorly defined.

Now the solution is at your hands easily downloaded and process detailed.  The EAA is now available on Apple products for download.  It is simple, and I tried it myself.  With the ease of an App, a victim can download the app and be guided through the process of creating the E.A.A. on a Smart Phone.  Any Smart Phone with a camera will be able to video tape the recorded testimony of her abuse experiences.  The person will simply fill out the E.A.A. documentation pages, and the pages will be notarized and instructions for where thecompleted documents are sent will direct the victim through the completion process.  Utilizing cloud technology, the E.A.A. is stored safely in a forensically secured database.

It was released on July 4th, 2012.  How fitting the day for freedom is the day the app becomes available.  After 20 years of working on Intimate partner violence she sees her dream come true.All information on the EAA can be found on Susan’s website at: www.documenttheabuse.com.  Please check out her latest book now available by download, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationships.  Susan Murphy Milano is a true hero to millions and her newest creation can and will save lives.  If you are in dangerous situation call local authorities and seek help. Always document everything. It can change the outcome.

This is an example of an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for individuals who perceive they are at risk.  By creating a file like this and giving it to specific people, any later events could be answered.  A video like this could solve a crime later on.  For more information visit www.documenttheabuse.com or Susan Murphy Milano’s Journal.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit can save your life!

July 15, 2012 Comments off

An Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is the mastermind process of domestic violence expert Susan Murphy Milano that combines video taping of the victims actual words attesting to the abuse coupled with creative witnessed and notarized legal documents that successfully satisfy legal hurdles often faced in these intimate partner violence and stalking cases.  Susan has worked countless hours to move mountains in the way an abuse situation is handled.It combines past history of abuse, testimony,documentation, and evidence in a all in one video to support your statements of abuse as well as satisfy the courts.

The EAA was born out of the Stacey Peterson case.  It was created to make sure if you disappear your fears and words do not.  Stacey’s case reminds us we need the words of the victim otherwise even if everyone knows it is the abuser they get away with it.  Proof is needed.  Murphy-Milano says, “Had either Kathleen Savio or Stacy Peterson prepared an EAA, there would be no question of a prompt arrest. The EAA also gives law enforcement and investigators information about the alleged perpetrator allowing the victim to speak from the grave on her own behalf, should that be necessary.  Think of the millions saved in taxpayer dollars!”

Susan has worked with prosecutors and victims all over the world.  Since her creation not one of the people she has worked with has been killed.  That in itself is a miracle since the U.S. Surgeon general finds domestic violence as the leading cause of health problems in our country.  One in every three women will be victimized.

The EAA is easy to use, very detailed and walks the victim through the steps needed to cross any line drawn in prosecutions case.  It contains the evidence and statements necessary to prosecute should the victim be harmed.

Until now the response when you are abused has been:

  • victims are told to report (but action is only taken if you can show evidence of the abuse).
  • Victims are told to go to a shelter.
  • Victims are told to get a restraining order (but usually only granted if there is evidence of the abuse)
  • Victims are told to move away (but leaving behind careers, family, and assets).
  • Victims are told to stay with someone else.
  • Victims are told stalking is hard to prove and stalking laws are often weak and poorly defined.

Now the solution is at your hands easily downloaded and process detailed.  The EAA is now available on Apple products for download.  It is simple, and I tried it myself.  With the ease of an App, a victim can download the app and be guided through the process of creating the E.A.A. on a Smart Phone.  Any Smart Phone with a camera will be able to video tape the recorded testimony of her abuse experiences.  The person will simply fill out the E.A.A. documentation pages, and the pages will be notarized and instructions for where the completed documents are sent will direct the victim through the completion process.  Utilizing cloud technology, the E.A.A. is stored safely in a forensically secured database.

It was released on July 4th, 2012.  How fitting the day for freedom is the day the app becomes available.  After 20 years of working on Intimate partner violence she sees her dream come true.All information on the EAA can be found on Susan’s website at: www.documenttheabuse.com.  Please check out her latest book now available by download, Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Safely Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationships.  Susan Murphy Milano is a true hero to millions and her newest creation can and will save lives.  If you are in dangerous situation call local authorities and seek help. Always document everything. It can change the outcome.

This is an example of an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for individuals who perceive they are at risk.  By creating a file like this and giving it to specific people, any later events could be answered.  A video like this could solve a crime later on.  For more information visit Susan’s website.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Contributed by Examiner.com in part

Shane Alexander Donates Proceeds From His Song “Look Out For Me” to Darkness to Light – an Organization to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse

June 10, 2011 Comments off

Via Music Blog

LA based singer/songwriter/guitarist Shane Alexander is paying it forward. He has written his latest song “Look Out For Me” to help the charity Darkness to Light, whose ultimate mission is to end childhood sexual abuse through education and awareness. CEO of Darkness to Light Anne Lee says, “Shane Alexander’s “Look Out for Me” is a beautiful, melodic reminder that our children need us and depend on us to protect their only childhood.”

Possessing a singularly evocative voice, Shane Alexander writes songs that Performing Songwriter Magazine has called “stunning,” and The Los Angeles Times described as “beautiful.” Shane has opened multiple US tours for Jewel and Seal and performed in Europe with Bon Iver and Suzanne Vega, among many others. Since his debut in 2005, he has released 4 solo albums, including his latest effort Mono Solo, on his own BuddhaLand Records imprint. No stranger to the road, he tours the US and Europe constantly. This fiercely independent artist has amassed a global fanbase and has nearly one million plays on MySpace to prove it. His popularity has been driven in part by over 50 television and film placements, including the season finale of MTV’s highly rated “My Life as Liz” (aired April 29th 2011). He has recently signed with Warner Chappell Publishing and Rough Trade Distribution in Europe.Even with all this success, Shane Alexander is finding the time to help others; he has a huge talent but a big heart to match it.

Shane Alexander’s current efforts have been directed at raising funds and awareness for the charity Darkness to Light (D2L). This is a cause Shane feels strongly about: “I believe in giving back as much as possible, and to lend my voice to an organization with such a noble mission just felt right. The statistics of childhood sexual abuse are pretty staggering, and Darkness to Light is working so hard to help prevent the suffering that these kids might face. It’s a real privilege for me to be working with such great people.” Shane Alexander was so compelled by what the charity stood for that it inspired him to write this touching and poignant song and to donate proceeds to the charity upon its release. Anne Lee believes that Shane Alexander’s song “has captured the pure essence of childhood that every adult needs to hear.”A portion of the proceeds from Shane’s US summer tour will be donated to the Darkness to Light as well.

Child sexual abuse is regarded as an epidemic. According to statistics from D2L, There are more than 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America and they estimate that 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by the time she is 18. More than 90% of abusers are people children trust love and know.

Darkness to Light was founded in 2000 by Anne Lee, now President and CEO. The ultimate mission of D2L is to end childhood sexual abuse and empower adults through awareness and educational programs to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to childhood sexual abuse. Recently featured in April 4th 2011 issue of People Magazine’s Heroes Among Us, Anne Lee shared her story of abuse and how it led her to launching Darkness to Light. A true “hero among us,” Anne says, “Darkness to Light is honored to have had Shane write this song for our organization and we are excited about his working with us to raise awareness.” Darkness to Light and Shane Alexander are both dedicated to preventing sexual abuse in this lifetime.

To purchase the song please go to:

http://bit.ly/mS4L3r  

I am an Authorized Facilitator via D2L to bring Steward’s of Children training to your community throughout the US ;every adult in every capacity from professional to parents, grandparents, family, faith based communities, law enforcement, etc.  should be educated about prevention and awareness. please feel free to contact me for further information.  I am also a Prevention Specialist via D2L to introduce our program to communities to speak about the emotional impact as well as the economical impact that child sexual abuse has every community and  individual – even if you have not personally been touched by child sexual abuse….you have.

Please feel contact me TODAY for further information, details and how we can make a difference in your community and protect our innocent children from this epidemic.

Thank you.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Mom Forces Kids to Have Sex

June 4, 2011 4 comments

A building that once housed a daycare center and later became a “swingers’ club” in Mineola, Texas turned into a house of horrors for four children who were forced to perform sex acts on others and each other.

Shauntel Mayo, 29, the ringleader of this unthinkable abuse, made her three kids (then age 5, 6, and 7) and her own 6-year-old baby sister perform sex acts if they wanted dinner. “The unthinkable,” said Smith County assistant district attorney Joe Murphy. “She had her kids have sex with each other and taught them to masturbate. She taught them how to strip. She withheld food from them. All so she could make money.”

According to prosecutors, the kids were groomed for sex shows in what Mayo called “kindergarten” classes. At “kindergarten,” they said they learned how to strip, dance and perform sexual acts–first on dolls, then on each other. Upon “graduating” from “kindergarten,” they were forced to have sex with each other in front of 50 to 100 adult members of a swingers’ club once a week. Before going on stage, they were given the painkiller Vicodin  — which their abusers called “silly pills” — to loosen them up for their performances. The children were forced to have sex with each other or perform sexual acts for club members who paid a fee to watch. Investigators believe up to 15 other children were victimized, and are still trying to locate them.

According to the Associated Press, the police department first investigated a complaint in June 2005 in which the siblings’ foster mother said one of the girls described dancing toward men and another child said that “everybody does nasty stuff in there.”

“We learned to strip (at ‘kindergarten’),” said the 7-year-old. ” I had to touch my privates with my sister’s and brother’s privates for the people in the club.”

The mother of the three siblings and her live-in boyfriend have already been convicted in the case and were sentenced to life in prison. A third person goes on trial today to face charges of aggravated sexual assault of a child, tampering with physical evidence and engaging in organized criminal activity. Four others are awaiting trial.

The siblings, who have been adopted and have gone through intense therapy, are now doing better, the welfare agency said. However, the man who gained permanent custody of the children, John Orville Cantrell, 64, of Mineola, was arrested last week for aggravated sexual assault of a child on a California case from 18 years ago.

His wife, Margie Cantrell, who has been a foster mom for 36 years, said Thursday she believes the accusations are in retaliation for their roles in the Mineola sex ring case. “What John and I want to do is continue to seek justice for the kids in this case,” she told the Tyler Paper. “And if we have to climb a few mountains to get there, it will be worth it. And at the end of all this, John will absolutely be proven innocent.”

What’s your reaction to this horrifying case?

One more reason, not that I personally need one but I WILL continue to make a bold effort to reach into communities across the country, as a Child Abuse Prevention Specialist and an authorized Facilitator for Stewards of Children through the Darkness to Light program, an organization whose mission is to train adults in every community to responsibly attack the issue of child sexual abuse.   The focus of the Stewards of Children Program is to effectively shift the responsibility of recognizing and reacting to child sexual abuse to adults, and teach them how to make a local impact.

Won’t you take a stance?  Won’t you be a leader in your community?  Won’t you be a voice for innocent children?  Enough is enough! 
Take care and STAY SAFE!

 

Via momlogic

Anny Jacoby Facilitating Darkness to Light’s Stewards of Children Program

May 31, 2011 Comments off

Program trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse

Taking a bold effort to reach into communities across the country, Anny Jacoby is a Prevention Specialist and an authorized Facilitator for Stewards of Children through the Darkness to Light program, an organization whose mission is to train adults in every community to responsibly attack the issue of child sexual abuse.   The focus of the Stewards of Children Program is to effectively shift the responsibility of recognizing and reacting to child sexual abuse to adults, and teach them how to make a local impact.

“Stewards of Children is the only national program which is evidence-based and proven to increase knowledge, improve attitudes, and change child protective behaviors. Training is offered to community groups, parent groups, grand-parents, all organizations that serve children and youth (paid staff and/or volunteer), church congregations, every employee in school districts, coaches, law enforcement, etc.  All adults.”   (www.d2l.org)

Not only is the Stewards of Children a training program, but it’s also being used to change the way society looks upon child sexual abuse, to remove the secrecy, denial and fear and move the issue into the open where children can grow up in a safer environment, find assistance when needed, and know that there are responsible adults within the community to meet their needs.

Anny Jacoby, whose expertise is in personal safety and victim advocacy, has broadened the scope of her experience by joining forces with Darkness to Light and advocating through the Stewards of Children program.

Jacoby is also an independent Consultant for the organization and, if there is not the  Stewards of Children program or it may be inactive in your community, she can assist in its development.  She is also available for workshops and events to promote, educate and bring training of the program to your community.  Anny can connect with area Prevention Specialists and Facilitators, and aid in reaching out to those who wish to provide adults with the training necessary to become actively involved in preventing and repairing the damage of child sexual abuse.

To arrange assistance from Anny Jacoby, she can be reached at anny@annyjacoby.com

Sugar Ray Leonard Says Coach Sexually Abused Him

May 20, 2011 1 comment

The opening segment of a forthcoming autobiography by Sugar Ray Leonard runs counter to the cunning style he used in winning boxing championships in five weight divisions more than a quarter-century ago. It is more like hearing the bell, rushing to the center of the ring and being hit with a straight right hand.

Most fans of Leonard remember him for his sweet smile and lightning-fast hands, as a transcendent and breakout celebrity in a brutal profession. But by Page 36 of “The Big Fight: My Life In and Out of the Ring,” to be published next month by Viking, Leonard has mentioned his cocaine use, growing up in a home with alcohol abuse and domestic violence, luckily surviving a car wreck with his mother at the wheel, almost drowning in a creek as a child who was unable to swim, and fathering a son at 17.

Two pages later, Leonard delivers the book’s bombshell while indirectly addressing a growing concern in the sports industry at large. He reveals publicly for the first time that he was sexually abused as a young fighter by an unnamed “prominent Olympic boxing coach.”

Leonard writes that when the coach accompanied him as a 15-year-old and another young fighter to a boxing event in Utica, N.Y., in 1971, he had the teenagers take a bath in a tub of hot water and Epsom salts while he sat on the other side of the bathroom. They suspected “something a bit inappropriate” was occurring but did not want to question a strong male authority figure.

Several years later, Leonard describes sitting in a car in a deserted parking lot across from a recreation center, listening intently as the same coach, said to be in his late 40s, explained how much a gold medal at the 1976 Olympics would mean to his future.

Leonard was flattered, filled with hope, as any young athlete would be. But he writes: “Before I knew it, he had unzipped my pants and put his hand, then mouth, on an area that has haunted me for life. I didn’t scream. I didn’t look at him. I just opened the door and ran.”

He adds that when he first decided to discuss the incident in the book, which is written with Michael Arkush, he offered a version in which the abuser stopped before there was actual contact.

“That was painful enough,” Leonard writes. “But last year, after watching the actor Todd Bridges bare his soul on Oprah’s show about how he was sexually abused as a kid, I realized I would never be free unless I revealed the whole truth, no matter how much it hurt.”

Through his publisher, Leonard, who turned 55 on Tuesday, declined to comment for this article, saying that he would begin doing publicity for the book in June. But several people who were close to him when he was routinely banking multimillion-dollar purses for title bouts with Roberto Duran, Thomas Hearns and Marvin Hagler were taken aback when told of what he has revealed in the book.

“This is the first time I’ve ever heard that, and I’ve known Ray since he was just a kid,” Dave Jacobs, who was Leonard’s first trainer as an amateur and later served as assistant trainer for many of his professional fights, said in a telephone interview. “He never talked about that to me and no one in the group ever mentioned it, so I assume he never talked about it to them, either.

“But if that incident did happen, I feel sorry for him in that part of his life and for having to carry that around with him.”

Angelo Dundee, who achieved fame as Muhammad Ali’s trainer and later became the head man in Leonard’s corner, said he knew very little about his fighter’s personal lives and preferred it that way.

“Ray never mentioned anything, but I never mingled with anything to do with a fighter except fighting,” Dundee said from his Florida home. “You never wanted personal stuff getting in the way when you sent a kid into the ring. And as far as I could see, Ray was as mentally tough as they came.”

Continue Reading:  http://nyti.ms/kt4Phn

Take care and STAY SAFE!

“Time’s Up” New Show Highlights Intimate Partner Violence, Missing Persons, and Cold Cases

February 21, 2011 Comments off

Susan Murphy-Milano is a non-fiction author and violence expert—Host of a weekly radio show “Time’s Up” addresses real-life unsolved and missing person’s cases featuring family members of unsolved crimes, missing persons and intimate partner violence and  homicides. She is defender of victims’ rights. A radio show host, Susan has appeared on numerous shows including Oprah, 20/20, American Justice, A & E, Sunday Today, E True Hollywood, A & E, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN. As a nationally recognized women’s advocate, she was intrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Act.

In 1989, after the murder of her mother by her father, a Chicago violent crimes detective, she vowed to change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides are handled and investigated.

The criteria for selecting cases relies heavily from a commitment of family members to pursue the case.

Case factors will include: the existence of suspects, persons of interest, witnesses and relevant documents; whether over time circumstances may have changed that will allow for additional witness cooperation; and whether there is new technology available to re-examine original evidence.

The families will be required to participate in the investigative effort by providing open and sincere assistance to include: submitting to interviews; providing necessary documentation and contact information of witnesses; facilitating interviews with witnesses or sources where appropriate; and signing required releases.

To be considered for a future show email us at timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Tune in each Thursday from 2-4ET for great guests, interesting conversations, and information on important topics relating to justice for victims of crime, missing persons or unsolved cases.

Brought to you by Here Women Talk Network and broadcast by Zeus Radio.

To listen live: http://zeusradio.com/station/hwt/


Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of “Time’s Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships,” available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, “Time’s Up!” on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth

http://www.imaginepublicity.com

 

Florence + The Machine – Kiss With A Fist

December 1, 2010 1 comment

How can others condone any song that trivializes domestic violence?

Florence and the Machine single, Kiss With A Fist was featured on their 2009 Mercury Prize-nominated album, Lungs.  I am not a fan of Florence nor listen to Pop often but this song has resurfaced in our arena and needs a friendly reminder.

Originally, a great deal of confusion surrounded the song’s meaning. With lyrics such as “broke your jaw once before”, “split your blood upon the floor”, “you smashed a plate over my head”, “you gave a kick” and “I gave a slap” – the song was thought by many to be based on domestic violence, which Florence denied.

Florence explained the song’s meaning on her MySpace page:

“Kiss with a Fist” is NOT a song about domestic violence. It is about two people pushing each other to psychological extremes because they are fighting but they still love each other. The song is not about one person being attacked, or any actual physical violence, there are no victims in this song. Sometimes the love two people have for each other is a destructive force. But they can’t have it any other way, because it’s what holds them together, they enjoy the drama and pushing each other’s buttons. The only way to express these extreme emotions is with extreme imagery, all of which is fantasism and nothing in the song is based on reality. Leona Lewis’s “Bleeding Love” isn’t actually about her bleeding and this song isn’t actually about punching someone in the mouth.”

Florence further elaborated on her inspiration behind the song:

“I was 16 or 17 when I wrote this. I’d just fallen in love for the first time, and I’d also started hanging out with an older group of people, watching how their relationships worked. There was this one couple who were so cool, but so visceral and so intense. The guy never hit the girl, but I saw her lamp him a couple of times, and she’d always give as good as she got. But it wasn’t really physical violence, it was more about the fact that their animal passion for each other was the thing that was attractive for them. It was how joyful destruction can be, and how alluring it is to be in a relationship so fiery. There was never a dull moment when they were around. I don’t know how they do it! I’m a conflict avoider. I think I write about such intense things because I’m actually really bad at expressing anger.”

I personally question the song contrary to Florence’s explanations, artists and producers who have promoted the song, “Whatever the meaning, this is an exhilarating debut single” stated by MusicOMH.

It is so sad that so many people DO NOT know all of the types of abuse.  The majority of individuals when asked,  “what is the first thing that pops into their brain when I say the words “domestic violence or dating violence”? They immediately go to the physical aspect of abuse.  The black and blue bruises, the fat lip, the black eye….unfortunately there is so much education that needs to be spread about all forms of abuse.

Ms. Florence needs to be educated about the different forms of abuse as well as the warning signs and red flags.  An individual can be physically abused without even being hit. The continuous abuse in the forms of drama, emotional turmoil, stress, verbal abuse ALWAYS leads to physical abuse (hair loss, weight loss/gain, ulcers, IBS, headaches, acid reflux, etc.), “pushing each other’s buttons” leads to stress and stress takes a toll on one’s body.

How can you state that “it wasn’t really physical violence” when you saw a female “lamp him” when you were a teenager?  The was physical violence.  It’s NOT okay for a female to hit a male or vice versa.  The “animal passion” that you refer to IS DESTRUCTIVE.  It will not stop.  The impulsive behavior will lead to paths of destruction of both either together or in other relationships.

It is imperative to educate our communities and our children as to what is a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy relationship.  This song is all about domestic violence and dating violence.  Florence’s  inspiration for writing this song is domestic violence even though she thinks/feels differently as to how individuals should treat once another.

It truly amazes me how artists get paid millions for producing such garbage and the fact that they are role models for so many people!  Why would anyone pay anything to listen to a violence-encouraging song?  To name a few artists that are and have benefited are, Rihanna, Girls Gone Bad, Rihanna accepts her fate as a now “bad girl” and uses her former abuses to justify her own future misbehavior; Russian Roulette,the music video featuring her being subjugated by a man with a gun and at one point, run over by his car.  Later in the video she gets shot through the neck while she’s writhing underwater; Rihanna and Eminem (Love The Way You Lie-), the song ends with Rihanna singing the chorus and reaffirming that she not only takes but somehow enjoys the abusive treatment she routinely gets; Sting, Every Breath You Take; The Beatles, Run For Your Life; Metallica, Die, Die My Darling; Eminem, Just The Two of Us and Jarvic Church, Run For Your Life.

A year later this song along with others are still on the air waves blasting on stereos and is extremely disturbing as it sure as hell promotes domestic violence and dating violence.  Some have even made it to the number one spot on the charts!

Singing about withstanding abuse and even coming back for more is not the message we want to be sending teenaged young women who find themselves in similar situations.  Not to mention it isn’t a good message to send to men: treat your women terribly and even the most seemingly gorgeous and successful ones will stick by your side.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

Anny

Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training

November 4, 2010 Comments off

Your Daughters Deserve Assault Prevention Training

I was walking home from school 10 months ago and I saw someone walking behind me. They kept getting closer so I started to run but fell over, the man grabbed me and pushed me into a house and raped me with his friends. I escaped and told my parents but they didn’t do anything about it…I’m just alone.

Could your daughter defend herself mentally, emotionally and/or physically if she were attacked by some thug or someone that she knows? Would she be able to incapacitate a male in order to escape his wrath?

I know, I know……gruesome thoughts but absolutely necessary.  It’s time for parents and kids to get their heads out-of-the sand and face reality.  Assaults, abuse and crime happens every single day and our daughters ARE NOT educated mentally, emotionally nor physically on how to be proactive or how to handle an attack.

As a parent you have to make sure that your daughters have the attitude to successfully send a “stay away” message loud and clear in whatever form necessary to stifle an attack. There is nothing wrong with pumping our daughters full of education, training and internal attitude.

Being a target of any assailant is a true fear many have as females are realizing more and more that victimization does not discriminate.

It goes without saying that every victim’s mind races during an assault. Will I be killed? Will he beat me more, rape me, abduct me or kill me? The level of terror and anxiety is enormous and causes most victims to sometimes act irrationally. Some freeze and become incapacitated from fright. Others instinctively resist and try to fight back. Others will run away if possible. This is what is known as the “fight or flight syndrome/response”. This fundamental physiologic response forms the foundation of modern day medicine. The “fight or flight response” is our body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from a perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.

 

The first thirty seconds are the most critical to a victim’s survival.

What Would You Do?

Most people have never pondered this question for themselves or with their family. How would you react under similar circumstances? How would you react independent or together in your family or with friends? How you naturally react depends on many factors: your sex, age, physical condition, culture, personality, how you process information, how you react under extreme pressure, special training, skills and past experience in responding to aggression. Most people do not know for sure how they would respond to a personal crisis until it occurs. Many are surprised afterward by their behavior as having been heroic, calm, cowardly, or stupid.

Would you try to overpower your assailant? Would you try to escape and call for help? Would you comply with his demands and hope that he doesn’t hurt you? Would you allow him to tie you up? Would you allow him to take you away from your home? Would you risk death?

The response possibilities are endless, but most fall into three general response possibilities. You can resist the assault, comply with all commands; or you can try to stay calm, wait, and resist, comply, or flee as the assault evolves. One thing is clear, there is not one single correct response to a life-threatening home invasion or assault of any kind. The choice is personal, based on your own assessment of your physical and mental capabilities and your belief as to the level of eminent danger.

Sometimes fighting and screaming, especially if there are neighbors or others who will intervene or call the police. It makes no sense to risk fighting if you are physically incapable of doing so effectively. Total compliance sometimes works. The assailant might leave you unharmed and just leave. However, compliance may increase the duration of the assault and therefore increase the potential for further harm. You need to thoughtfully consider how you might act under circumstances and plan accordingly.

It has been proven that with proper education and training a victim has more of a chance of escaping or deterring a potential threat if she is educated and trained in assault prevention.

Again…….What would you do?

Take care and STAY SAFE!


Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?

November 3, 2010 2 comments

Protecting Our Daughters … What Can You Do As A Parent?

They are your babies, you cradled them in your arms when they were infants. You nurture them, support them, love them as they grow and mature and … protect them. As a parent, it is your responsibility, it’s your passion and yes it’s your JOB. The question lies before us (parents) … how do we protect them when we are physically separated from them and they from us?

How do we insure their safety in a world growing more and more insane, more unstable and more dangerous by the day? (Think of the numerous tragedies that has happened at high schools, colleges, abductions, human trafficking and more that you have seen or read about in the news.) Even when our little girls and adult daughters have graduated from high school and/or college, she will always be your child and her safety will always be at the forefront in your thoughts.

Unfortunately, females continue to deny the need for their own self-protection, relying instead on arguments that the law, spouse, brother, father, etc., should be protecting them. Statistics have indicated that the reality is that the ones expected to protect them are the majority of the ones committing the crimes. But the reality is, if they expect things to change, then they (individually) must be in control of their destiny and change.

As a parent, you owe your daughters and even yourself if you are a mom reading this post the knowledge, wisdom, the upper edge to not become a statistic. Dads it is also your responsibility to get and stayed involved, it is your JOB as well.

Often asked, “Why do you advocate that EVERY female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself?” Simple answer … “to ensure her own safety”.

Crime, victimization can happen to anyone at anytime. Whether you want to live in your fantasy world or not, this is harsh reality. At some point in your daughter’s life she will flash across an assailant’s (majority male) radar as prey. She will be attacked and/or assaulted. She will be alone and vulnerable. And most likely, it will come from the one she least expected. The next question, what will she do?

You, the parent must be the role model for your daughters. We tell our daughters that they can be anything they want. How about safe? How do we show them how to protect themselves against rape, assaults, dating violence, intimate partner violence and more if parents do not set an example of being strong and standing up for themselves by being able to defend themselves – emotionally, mentally, verbally, spiritually and ultimately physically? If parents continue to move in silence about things that happen to women (rape, assault, emotional abuse, dating violence, domestic violence) how are you going to help your daughters become stronger and show your sons what is and is not acceptable behavior from a male?

Countless females come into my speaking engagements and training sessions as sheep and walk out determined, strong and empowered who are ready to take control of their own lives. A personal safety/self-defense course does empower them; but it will educate them in showing them the options in order to take control of their lives and feel safer in their world.

Many of us in this arena refer to personal safety/self-defense as “Life Extension” insurance. Money is spent to insure our automobiles, lives, jewelry, disabilities, travel, rental property and more but yet females hesitate when spending money on a personal safety/self-defense class that can truly SAVE their lives. Women’s personal safety/self-defense classes have an incredible positive impact on participants and greatly changes lives for the better. Classes provide you with real insurance to protect your life. There is not one form of personal safety/self-defense that is 100% guaranteed but it’s better to know something rather than nothing and doing something rather than nothing.

There is one excuse, a major excuse (“It costs too much”) that is extremely frustrating to those of us in this arena. It is completely understandable that people have financial challenges. You cannot put a price tag on a life. Most classes range between $100-$200, but yet many have no problem going out and spending this amount on dinner, buying clothes, getting their hair done and the list goes on. If you knew that you or your daughter would at sometime in either of your lives would be attacked, how much would you be willing to invest in some basic personal safety/self-defense training? I would hope that your answer would be “no limit”. The problem is that people are willing to gamble with the odds of being attacked or assaulted instead of being proactive and learning personal safety/self-defense as an insurance policy.

Whenever a mother or father contacts me or enrolls their daughters in a class I immediately commend them for being proactive because the majority of people are reactive, waiting until something happens to them before learning any personal protection skills. Any victim who has been assaulted and was able to put into use what she learned in a class … ask her if what she paid to learn was too much.

If you won’t do it for yourself, how about for those who count on you the most – your daughters, your mothers, your siblings, etc.? What happens if you are now dead or incapacitated because of a crime? Who takes care of those that you took care of?

Take the time to take care of yourself and your daughters. Empower your life and your daughter’s lives – take a class. You just might surprise yourself with what you are capable of doing as well as your daughters. Allow them each to become empowered with knowledge. Knowledge is a powerful tool. The new outlook that you and/or your daughter(s) will gain will greatly improve your lives.

Take care and STAY SAFE!

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