Shock, pain, emotional distress,
This happens to other people,
to other families, not ours….
Reality sets in,
Hate, dispair, and anger take over,
How could this happen, why did this happen?
Days go by,
Acceptance and strength are surfacing,
Drive and determination take over…
Passing along what we have learned becomes important,
It becomes the focus of each day,
To help others through where we have been…
We made it as the days have gone by,
As the years have gone by, we made it,
It’s forever with us, but it is now strength…
Days go by and it no longer rules,
We rule, we have taken our lives back,
A lot has changed as days go by…..
You took enough, you get no more…
Our lives are different, but our lives are good,
We took our lives back as days go by….
Now our purpose is to help others take theirs back,
You took enough, you get no more,
We are getting stronger as days go by…..
Our voices are coming together as one,
Can you hear us? You will,
As days go by….
Our voice is becoming stronger,
Louder, as days go by,
Our voice is to be heard….
The fear is gone,
We stand as one, strong and unwavering,
We are firm on our feet….
We are one voice, one voice that will no longer be silenced,
One voice that becomes stronger and louder,
As days go by……..
Cathy Parsons Gipson
After a personal experience with domestic violence, Corbin, a sophomore international studies and economic major at UNC, threw herself into educating other young girls. Her program, Project Safe Girls, teaches girls ages 5-23 about domestic violence, sexual assault (rape, date rape, and acquaintance rape), abduction, human trafficking, stalking, healthy relationships and general personal safety and ultimately how one can protect and defend herself mentally, emotionally and physically.
Project Safe Girls will kick off training through the Chapel Hill-Carrboro YMCA’s middle school afterschool program and is expanding rapidly through other schools, throughout the nation and is striving to make the program a safety prevention course requirement in all school systems.
“I want Project Safe Girls to be widely known throughout the US, said Anny Jacoby, founder and President of The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company, of which Project Safe Girls is an official division. “Project Safe Girls will take on its own form and it will shine as it is a much needed program for all communities.”
Jacoby has worked closely with Corbin to develop the program since Corbin approached the company. As sister organizations, both programs teach women essentially the same techniques, mentally and physically, geared to specific age groups. Corbin’s project gears specifically to girls ages 5-23 enrolled in school from kindergarten to college, whereas The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company teaches females of all ages.
The first step of the course lies in the awareness portion of safety, as awareness is the first step to any form of personal safety/self-defense. Instructors teach characteristics of unhealthy vs. healthy relationships/situations. Red flags and warning signs are significant signals of potential or existing abuse. Power and Control is the dominate factor which every form of abuse centers around.
Lessons in de-escalation are taught – how to diffuse a potential dangerous/violent situation in an attempt to warn off a physical altercation. De-escalation techniques range from eye contact and a confident yet non-threatening demeanor to talking in low tones and maintaining a safe distance between the persons.
“De-Escalation starts with non-verbal behaviors,” Jacoby said. “Techniques consist of your demeanor, your presence, your body language. But the only way that an individual obtains the confidence and knowledge is by studying and understanding how an assailant thinks, how you need to be thinking, and then knowing how you can defend yourself verbally and ultimately non-verbally if needed.”
The lessons in the non-physical aspects of personal safety/self-defense form the backbone of the Corbin’s and Jacoby’s programs.
“We promote violence prevention, raising awareness and the skills to reduce susceptibility to violence,” Jacoby said. “The way that you promote prevention is through education.”
Physical personal safety/self-defense training is a major part of the female’s safety equation. Females are taught how men/assailants think, vulnerable body areas other than the groin – which men expect a female to target – and how to use knowledge as an advantage. “Fighting back is not about staying in the “ring” going ten rounds,” Jacoby said. “We fight males with knowledge, not with strength; and knowledge is a powerful tool. But you must know what your tools (mentally and physically) are and how to effectively use them.”
Fayetteville, N.C. — Cumberland County District Attorney Ed Grannis and Fayetteville Police Chief Tom Bergamine have asked the State Bureau of Investigation to look into whether social workers have turned over all of their records in the death of 5-year-old Shaniya Nicole Davis.
The girl was reported missing from her Fayetteville home on Nov. 10. Her body was found in a patch of kudzu off a rural road near the Lee-Harnett County line six days later.
She died of asphyxiation, according to preliminary autopsy results.
Mario Andrette McNeill, 29, of 2613 Pine Springs Drive, has been charged with first-degree murder, first-degree rape of a child and first-degree kidnapping in the case. Police have characterized him as a family acquaintance.
Shaniya’s mother, Antoinette Nicole Davis, 25, has been charged with human trafficking, felony child abuse–prostitution, filing a false police report and obstructing a police investigation. Arrest warrants state that Davis “did knowingly provide Shaniya with the intent that she be held in sexual servitude” and “did permit an act of prostitution with Shaniya.”
McNeill and Antoinette Davis are being held in state prisons in Raleigh for their own protection, authorities said.
The Cumberland County Department of Social Services previously looked at Davis with regard to her 7-year-old son, not Shaniya, according to her uncle, Michael Davis. The case was closed, and Antoinette Davis was able to retain custody of the boy, her uncle said.
DSS Director Brenda Jackson has previously declined to comment on the agency’s involvement with the Davis family, citing the investigation into Shaniya’s death as well as confidentiality rules for child welfare cases.
Grannis sent a letter Friday to Cumberland County Manager James Martin to notify him that he and Bergamine have requested an SBI investigation of DSS.
“Chief Bergamine has requested the SBI’s assistance to determine if Fayetteville police have received complete and accurate records from Cumberland County DSS regarding this case,” Grannis wrote. “Based upon the information provided to me and my senior staff by the Fayetteville Police Department concerning these issues, I share their concern, and I have requested the assistance of the SBI to assist us in this regard.”
In a statement released by Cumberland County spokeswoman Sally Shutt, Jackson said she would ensure that her office cooperates with authorities to resolve the matter.
Neither Jackson nor Grannis returned phone calls Monday seeking further comment.
Shaniya’s father, Bradley Lockhart, declined to comment. The girl lived with him and his sister until early October, when he allowed her to go live with Antoinette Davis.
Authorities with the state Child Fatality Task Force already are looking into any DSS contact with the Davis family. The task force studies all child deaths in North Carolina to make recommendations to legislators on changes to state laws and administrative polices to prevent future deaths.
So, adult sex forced on a minor is just rape and not rape rape? I didn’t know that there was a differentiating definition on the term rape. This is news to me! So, glad you enlightened me, because I didn’t want to go through life being angry at male perps for rape rape when I should only be angry at them for rape. After all, I wouldn’t want to sound too harsh against the bastard. I rolled my eyes when you said that. Where was your head?
What got me the most pissed off is when you said, “Would I want my 14 year old having sex with somebody. Not necessarily.” Not “NECESSARILY”? What the hell?!?! I am a mother and I can assure you that if any adult ever even thought of having sex with my children at 14 years old….there would be hell to pay! So, my answer is, “OH HELL NO!!!!!!!”
To top it off, you use culture differences to play down that perverted criminal’s choice to rape that poor girl! How sick! In any culture it’s a violation of a minor’s human rights to be raped…PERIOD! Hell Whoopi, what if a white man from a culture that deemed it okay to drug and force a black person to be a prisoner in his home, so that he can use this black person as a slave? Would his cultural difference justify or minimize his criminal act against that black person?
Not to mention, try telling that poor little girl….”Honey, I know that you feel violated and what’s been done to you is wrong. But, you need to learn to accept that this as not “necessarily” a bad thing. Because, in some cultures this is perfectly normal and accepted.” Whoopi, you really messed up here and I am seriously believing now that you are messed up! Totally messed up!
I used to watch your show and I used to think you had at least your basic moral values and had a pretty straight on head with controversial issues. Now, I don’t think I could ever watch The View ever again without wanting to push my entire body through the screen just so I can get in your face and tell you just how disgustingly sick I think of you now. You have definitely more than dissapointed me. You shocked the hell out of me.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
A Success Survivor
“Raising female awareness and skills to reduce susceptibility in response to violence.”
ALABAMA GIRL ESCAPES FROM ATTACKER BY FIGHTING BACK!
Jordan Ward, 13 years old was sexually assaulted in BROAD DAYLIGHT in the middle of an amusement park. Jordan was able to get away and credits a special class at school for teaching her how to FIGHT BACK!
A trip in late July a Georgia amusement park should have produced many happy memories for almost a dozen young people from a Cullman church youth group. But what happened that day was a nightmare for one 13-year-old girl.
Eighth-grader Jordan Ward says that she was sitting on a park bench waiting for her friends to finish a ride when a stranger walked directly up to her and assaulted her. She explained what happened, “All of the sudden a man just ran up to me and started touching me in inappropriate places. I was just like “oh my gosh, what is happening?” And right then I just slapped him! I just REACTED!”
According to the police, what Jordan did next may have saved her life and prevented the attack from being even more traumatic. “I just slapped him across the face as hard as I could to get him off of me. And he let go of me and I ran as fast as I could. I don’t think I’ve ever run that hard.”
Jordan’s experience has reminded all of us who teach women/female Personal Safety/Self-Defense why we do what we do. And, why so many instructor’s in our industry remain steadfast with the mission and commitment to stay focused.
We all might have different systems/styles that we teach but most importantly we all teach gals how to defend themselves effectively, be safe, get away, break away and flee to get help. The warrior mentality of stun and run/fight and flight. It’s not about going ten rounds with an attacker. Hand-to-hand combat (S.P.E.A.R. system) is taught how to attack an attacker’s weaknesses and to take advantage of them. Many things are taught in classes even ground fighting.
Empowering a female of any age to say “NO” is a critical step in preventing sexual assault and abuse. 90% of escaping an attacker is mental. All of us empower females to let them know that, this is her body; her temple. She has one body, mind and spirit and ultimately it is up to her to defend and protect herself at all times.
Hearing Jordan’s story and knowing what she learned was effective and knowing that we do make a difference – well, that’s what it’s all about.
Jordan said, “You don’t really think something like this will ever happen to you because I didn’t, but it did.” And, Jordan was prepared and thank God for her P.E. Coach LeeAnn Evans who worked at bringing personal safety/self-defense to Cullman County.
We commend you Coach Evans, Officer Cindy Rohrscheib and Cullman County Deputy Jennifer Chaffin for bringing self-defense to the girls of Cullman Middle School. Training that they will have for the rest of their lives.
Moving Out, Moving On; authored by Susan Murphy-Milano will guide you through the necessary steps of ending a relationship safely.
You can purchase your copy HERE.
For scheduling training, appearances or speaking engagements for Anny, please contact ImaginePublicity.