Dear Mrs. Obama:
I am writing to you today because I respect you very much, and I know how important both the issues of Domestic Violence and the right of everyone to have Affordable Health Care are to you.
I want to introduce you to an amazing woman and advocate Susan Murphy- Milano. Susan is currently dying of Cancer due to the lack of Health Insurance. Everywhere she applied for help turned her down and she was informed that she did not qualify for their services. I know you agree that there is something terribly wrong when a country as great as ours can let this happen to anyone, yet alone someone who has devoted her entire life to saving the lives of others and without once thinking about what it could mean to her own.
Susan grew up in Chicago, the daughter of a 30-year veteran Chicago Police Detective and Violent Crimes Investigator Phillip Murphy. Susan’s father murdered her mother in 1989 and then turned the gun on himself committing suicide. His intent was to kill his daughter as well. On the way to the house to try to save her mother something made her take an unexpected turn on the way. This decision is the only reason Susan is alive today. Had she taken her normal route Susan would not be with us now! Susan lived a life of trying to keep her mother alive her entire life and after her mother was murdered she devoted her entire life to saving others.
This most amazing woman is now on her last days after putting up a good fight. I am writing you today because I know you care. I know you care about the women and children in this country, the state of our health care, and every person’s God given human right. It is not just women and children that Susan has saved; there is no gender bias when it comes to abuses towards another.
Susan is the leading expert on Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence, and at the time when she discovered she had Cancer she was already in stage 4. This all happened just as her lifelong dreams were coming true. Susan is the women who mentored Rev. Neil Schori , Stacy Peterson’s Pastor and taught him everything he knows about Intimate Partner violence. Together they created The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit which is a legal document that can be used in court as legal testimony even if the victim is murdered or missing.
This tragic news about Susan came just as her lifelong work was getting known. Susan was getting invitations from law enforcement agencies all over the country to come and train Law Enforcement and first responders what to look for when they answer a call, or respond to a crime scene. She was preparing to start working at a University where she was given Carte Blanche and offered full use of the Universities resources to help her with her work. She did not apply to work at this University they came to her asking her to please come and head this project. Susan was offered her own Television Show which was scheduled to air this winter. Again she was approached by the producers she did not seek them they sought Susan. These are just a few of the triumphs that have a major impact in the field of Intimate Partner Violence! Susan was now in high demand all over the country. But her work was suddenly halted in its prime due to her health.
Susan had a good chance to recover had she had the treatment she needed. This is a disgrace and an embarrassment for this Country which I know you and the President both agree. I am so sorry that the President’s Health plan has been fought against and has not been put into place. This is something that may have saved not only the life of this amazing woman but could have saved countless other people both through Susan’s work and the health plan combined.
This is what Susan said when she made the announcement about her Cancer:
“My dreams and hard work are now becoming reality.
In early fall there will be a national announcement about the Intimate Partner Violence Institute with two major universities.
A national conference and training hosted by the Naperville Christian Church is scheduled for the first week of October on the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit for law enforcement, prosecutors and first responders.
The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit APP will be at the Apple Store on Monday July, 2, 2012.
Holding My Hand Through Hell will be released nationwide October 1, 2012.
Everything will still happen as scheduled”.
Susan Murphy Milano June 27 2012
Please check out these links and Google her name for more on Susan. I know you will love her as much as I do and as the countless women she has saved
Susan’s Cancer blog Conquering Cancer which she started to try to change the way society looks and Cancer treatment
Susan’s Main Blog Susan Murphy Milano’s Journal to educate the public on Intimate Partner Violence
Document the Abuse website for the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit
Susan’s latest book “Holding My Hand Through Hell” is about her life and what it was like for her growing up in an abusive home. She wrote this book for the purpose of helping others who are living the same hell that Susan grew up living in. After reading this book people will know why Susan is the who she is.
Chicago Tribune article and interview with The Rev. Neil Schori.
Listen here to Rev. Schori interview after the trial of Drew Peterson
Susan Murphy Milano and her work in Chicago. Please watch this video and you will see the great work she has done in the past!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and listen to the interviews.
I would like to invite you to the Facebook prayer page for Susan. You will be in awe of the outpouring of prayers and thoughts of people whose lives were changed just by knowing her.
God Bless you and The President for all the work that has been done and is being done to make our lives better.
Amy J. Matthews
Warning signs to watch out for teen dating violence include: sudden loss of interest in activities, low grades, changes in appetite, changes in sleep patterns, loss of regular friends and drastic changes in clothing.
Often victims will wear long sleeves, long pants and scarves to hide bruises and marks. If you as a parent suspect that your teen is in an abusive relationship, encourage zero tolerance for inappropriate dating behaviors.
If you suspect that your teen is being violent to their dating partner, talk to them. Let the teen know that love is about respect. Sometimes it is difficult to realize that your child is being mean or violent. Do not allow aggressive behavior in the home. Talk to the teen about emotional abuse and how it is unacceptable in any relationship. You could say something like, “It bothers me when you yell at so-and-so.” Express concern and talk to the teen about appropriate behavior. You may even want to seek professional help for your teen.
Teen dating violence is a problem that parents can help prevent. Talk to teens about the different types of violence. Be alert for warning signs and let the teens know that you care. Most of all, show teens the appropriate way to behave by being respectful and caring towards other people.
Encouraging teens to have healthy relationships before they begin dating is important. Be aware and keep the lines of communication open with teens about their relationships.
Signs of an abusive relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.
To determine whether your teen relationship is abusive, ask her/him to answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that your teen may be in an abusive relationship.
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings
- feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
- avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
- feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
- believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
- wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
- feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Does your partner:
- humiliate or yell at you?
- criticize you and put you down?
- treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends and family to see?
- ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
- blame you for his/her own abusive behavior?
- see you a property or a sex object, rather than a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats
Does your partner:
- have a bad and unpredictable temper?
- hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
- threaten to commit suicide if you break up with him/her?
- force you to have sex?
- destroy your belongings?
Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
- act excessively jealous and possessive?
- control where you go and what you do?
- keeps you from seeing your friends or family?
- constantly checking up on you?
- excessive texting or calling you?
If your teen is afraid for her/his safety or has been assaulted by her/his partner please dial 911 or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-787-3224.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
VICE PRESIDENT JOSEPH R. BIDEN TO DISCUSS ISSUE OF DATING VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT AFFECTING TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS, LIVE ON “THE VIEW,” TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
Barbara Walters and Bill Geddie, executive producers of the ABC’s Daytime Emmy® Award-winning talk show, “The View,” announced that Joseph R. Biden, the 47th Vice President of the United States, will be the special guest, live, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 (11:00 a.m.-12:00 noon, ET). The Vice President will focus on the threat of dating violence and sexual assault that continues to exist for teens and young adults across the country. The Vice President’s appearance is part of “Red, White & View” continuing the show’s commitment to political guests and discussions.
The author of the landmark Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), Vice President Biden has led the effort to combat violence against women for over 20 years. He continues the cause today leading the fight from the White House.
Over the past year, in response to the high rates of violence and abuse that continue to face young women under the age of 24, Vice President Biden has refocused his long standing commitment to reducing violence against women specifically on teens and young adults. Under the Vice President’s leadership, the Administration has undertaken a wide range of new and innovative efforts to address the issue. Just last week, in a video message released via Twitter and YouTube, Vice President Biden launched the “1is2Many” project calling on high school and college-aged students to share their ideas on preventing dating violence and sexual assault at schools and on their campuses.
Dating abuse isn’t always as obvious as bruises and beatings. In fact, if you don’t know any better, some of the most common forms of relationship abuse might seem like the way that boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to act.
That’s why it’s so important that you learn the signs of abusive relationships as soon as you start dating. If any of the signs below are true for your relationship, get help. The following signs can be applied to abused males as well by girlfriends. Victimization DOES NOT discriminate.
1. He Constantly Checks In on You
If your sweetie’s attentive and asks you about your life, that’s fantastic. But if he constantly calls you and expects a full report on where you’ve been and who you’ve been with, then something more sinister’s going on.
2. He Lies to You
Relationships can’t survive unless you trust each other, and if your partner abuses that trust by lying to you, it’s a relationship that isn’t worth keeping. A couple of white lies are forgivable. Lying regularly, or lying about important stuff, is absolutely not.
3. He Won’t Let You Talk to Other Guys
Don’t stand for this form of relationship abuse. You’re allowed to talk to anyone of any gender you want. If your sweetie is suspicious of something, he should have a mature conversation with you about it, but he’s not allowed to control your behavior.
4. He Threatens to Hurt Himself
When someone tells you something like, “I’ll kill myself if you break up with me,” they’re using fear and guilt to manipulate you. Any threat should be taken seriously, so speak to a parent or counselor about it. But you don’t have to play along.
5. He Loses His Temper Quickly
Everyone gets mad sometimes, and that’s okay. But if your sweetie snaps at you over the tiniest things and blames you for things that aren’t your fault, then something’s wrong (and it’s not you).
6. He Embarrasses You in Public
No one who loves you (or even likes you a lot) should ever make you feel bad about yourself. Doing it in public – by calling you names or making fun of you when other people are watching – is especially cruel, and you don’t have to stand for it.
7. He Forces You to Have Sex
Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse. It can mean a whole range of sexual activity, including oral sex or even just touching. If your partner forces you to do anything physical that you don’t want to do, get out of the relationship.
8. He Keeps You Away From Your Friends
Abusers are pretty smart. They know that if your friends found out the truth, they’d tell you to get out of the relationship lickety-split. By pushing your friends away, abusers are trying to protect themselves. Don’t let them.
9. He Looks at Your Phone
No one – not even the love of your life – has the right to monitor your calls and texts. And you’re allowed to be in contact with whomever you want (even your exes). If your sweetie disagrees, he’s trying to control you, and that’s a form of abuse.
10. He Does Anything That Scares You in Any Way
This could mean physical violence, the threat of violence, harsh words or dangerous behavior of any kind. Bottom line: if you’re scared to be around someone – even someone you love – don’t be around them any more. Break it off right away.
In the realm of teen dating violence, Susie promotes the concept that healthy teen dating relationships will translate into strong and healthy adult relationships. Susie strives to educate both teens and adults about the seriousness of teen dating violence. She specializes in speaking about Teen Dating Violence and Healthy & Safe Dating. She conducts workshops, keynotes, trainings, and seminars on issues specifically related to teens and their relationships. Related topics to Teen Dating Violence include:
- setting boundaries,
- safe dates,
- the Dating Bill of Rights,
- Cycle of Violence,
- early warning signs of teen dating violence,
- teen empowerment,
- the differences between healthy and potentially destructive dating relationships.
Because most domestic violence relationships that end in fatalities started in high school, she feels it a vital necessity to reach out to teens and work toward prevention and safety.
In the context of domestic violence, Susie aims to educate listeners on what Domestic Violence is, how the abuser uses power and control, and what tools the abuser uses to maintain their power and control. She also discusses the myths surrounding Domestic Violence and answers the question, “Why don’t you just leave?” Susie can combine these elements into one presentation or highlight a single topic for an in-depth presentation, keynote, or workshop.
In both Domestic Violence and Teen Dating Violence, Susie speaks with compassion, approachability, knowledge, and energy. Her presentations are layered with a truly touching, amazing, and powerful story about “Jessica,” a friend that came into her life and ultimately survived a harrowing escape from the abuser bent on killing her.
Susie earned a BA in Speech Communication from the University of Washington. She has spoken to a myriad of audiences on varying topics related and unrelated to Domestic Violence and Teen Dating Violence. These topics include business communication, teaching public speaking workshops, giving scientific presentations to area junior high and high school science classes and in an academic capacity. Most recently Susie has spent her time speaking to local high school and junior high school students and community groups about Teen Dating Violence and prevention. She has also been a participant of Toastmaster’s International.
Over the last 6 years Susie has consulted with business owners about organization and taught seminars on effective communication and public speaking.
Susie regularly spends time helping with domestic violence related activities at Domestic Violence Services of Snohomish County and at Providence Intervention Center for Assault and Abuse. She has had affiliations with LeTip International in the capacity of Vice President and President of her local business networking chapter.
Susie frequently volunteers with organizations that serve domestic violence victims and their families. Currently she lends a hand with youth support groups and at her local shelter. Susie also works with victims of sexual assault and abuse by serving as an Advocate with Providence Intervention Center for Assault and Abuse where she responds to local ER’s and provides advocacy for sexual assault victims and advocacy via a 24-hour emergency hotline.
More about Susie Kroll:
- BA speech communication (info transfer and comm not speech therapy) from University of WA
- BS Zoology w a marine emphasis at University of WA
- Masters in counseling psychology (to be completed 2014).
- Completed training as sexual assault/child sexual assault advocate from Providence Intervention Center for Assault and Abuse. Was an advocate for victims in county’s ER’s.
- Completed training with Domestic Violence Services of Snohomish County to be a volunteer in the confidential shelter, kids support groups, and as speaker for Teen Dating Violence for the last 2 years…primarily in high school and junior high schools.
- Participant in Toastmasters International.
- Hobbies include spending time w husband and our 2 golden retrievers, singing, and gardening/landscaping.
Topics for Speaking Engagements, Workshops and Events:
- Teen Dating Violence and Healthy Relationships
- Technology, Teens, and Safety with their Cyber Reputations
- Domestic Violence/Teen Dating Violence in Pop Culture and the Media
Connect with Susie Kroll online:
Susie is also a contributing writer to the victim’s rights blog “Time’s Up!”
If you would like to schedule Susie Kroll for your next event, please fill out the form below or contact ImaginePublicity at 843.808.0859 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Star Jones tweeted the following, “sexual deviance is not a “preference”. I “prefer” to live in Buckingham Palace…but if I go there uninvited…they will arrest me.
“Ok, ok, let me catch you up in case you haven’t heard…Doug Anthony Hutchison, the Lost actor, 51 and minor teen, Courtney Alexis Stodden, age 16 has caused quite a stir in the media as they revealed that they were married in May in Las Vegas. I can just imagine the look on your face and what you are thinking at this moment – my head actually hurts from shaking it from side to side.
The first question that is raised is…”is this legal?” According to the marriage license page for Clark County, Las Vegas, it’s easy. Minor applicants who are 16 or 17 years old can obtain a marriage license with two things: an original or certified copy of their birth certificate, and a parent or legal guardian who will provide his or her consent. Answer: Yes.
Minor Courtney’s mom, Krista Stodden, approved of her daughter’s marriage despite the 35-year age difference and that at least one of Courtney’s parents did sign the necessary permission form. Mr. and Mrs. Stodden seem to adore Hutchison and that they are both supportive of the marriage.
So many things come to mind with this relationship/marriage; I honestly do not know where to begin. What compelled Hutchison to marry a “child”/minor or even have an interest in any way?
Hutchison was born May 26, 1960 (51 years old this year), known for his roles in The Green Mile, The X-Files, Lost and 24. He owns the production company, Dark Water, Inc. Hutchison’s first marriage lasted two years and is now married to minor, Courtney Stodden.
Courtney Alexis Stodden –
When Stodden was born Toy Story was all the rage in theaters, Bill Clinton was busy achieving a budget surplus, and Crystal Pepsi had just been taken off the shelves.
Star Jones hit the target as it is apparent that Hutchison definitely has sexual desires and behaviors considered to be unusual or abnormal, i.e. sexual preference is a child. And, the majority of individuals with a sexual deviation (if caught) would be in trouble with the law. A sixteen year-old teenager does not have the insight nor maturity to make a rational decision to marry nor to be seriously involved to this degree. The honeymoon phase will dissipate and then what?
As a parent, I am appalled that her parents would condone their daughter’s wishes, behavior and actually give her permission to marry or even consider dating this man. Hutchison is older than her father! The majority of parents who would do this (if caught) would be slammed with human trafficking charges. Think about it. Does anyone else see $$$$$$$$$$ in this arrangement?
It’s surprising that Courtney was required to produce her birth certificate and permission form (reminds me of field trip requirements for kids) – the majority of people are feeling that she is older than 16 by her appearance. The Officiator was on his/her toes with this ceremony.
A further note of consideration – Nevada lawmakers really need to re-think, add and move to the top of their agenda to abolish this existing law that is in place that allows minors 16 and 17 years old to wed in their state. What does it truly say about the moral’s of the lawmakers of Nevada? I know, I know….if there’s a will, there’s a way but this is truly allowing child sexual abuse to exist without any ramifications – no law to protect these kids. And, neither kids, parents or ephebophile’s (the sexual preference of adults for mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19; in sexual ethics it may be defined as a sexual preference for girls generally 14-16 years old and boys 14-19 years old.) need additional encouragement or avenues to assist in their deviant ways.
And, will Courtney be homeschooled or will she attend a high school near Hutchinson’s home? Or will she eventually get her GED? She is a child, perhaps outwardly mature for her age but she is only 16…..only of legal age to get a driver’s license.
Are you feeling the mix of everything that smells soooooooooo wrong in ALL ways?
Many feel that this marriage was truly for promotional purposes only and they are certainly getting the attention. For how long, only time will tell. You can listen to Courtney’s music on her website – you decide. It is understood that Courtney is a client of Hutchison’s production company, Dark Water, Inc. where she is attempting to promote a CD.
Personally, I don’t care for her music nor am I fan of Hutchison but I do care about the message that is being sent to other “kids” who may listen to her music and become fans. I am hoping that parents are tuning into their “kids” and at least are in the same chapter. Not always are we on the same page with our “kids”. It’s imperative to at least be in sync with them.
Take care and STAY SAFE!