Sunday Night, September 11, 11pm ET
on Business Talk Radio
Back for another run! Vito Colucci invites Anny Jacoby back to the show to continue the conversation. On this show they will discuss the importance of college campus safety, street smarts, carjacking and safety, stranger asking for directions, and knowing your surroundings. Everyone will want to listen to the information on this show to know how to stay safe in a dangerous world!
Crime Time with Vito Colucci, P.I. features anything crime related. Current high profile cases or trials are discussed in detail with commentary from experts in law enforcement, investigators and lawyers.
Vito Colucci, Jr.
Vito Colucci, Jr., owner of Colucci Investigations LLC, is a former member of the Stamford, CT Police Department where he worked as a Narcotic’s Detective and Undercover Organized Crime Investigator. One of the main investigations Vito spearheaded during that time was uncovering the organized crime ties within his own police department.
Vito has been a private investigator for the past 22 years, working many high profile cases; Michael Skakel/Martha Moxley case, Jayson William’s case, and honeymooner, George Smith’s case .
Vito Colucci is a regular commentator on various news programs including: Fox News MSNBC, Catherine Crier/Court TV, Star Jones, Glenn Beck, Nancy Grace, Larry King, CNN Headline News, and The Bill O’Reilly Show, as well as being a featured speaker at the first World Investigator’s Conference in LasVegas in 2005.
Anny’s mission is to reach out to every avenue available to teach these skills at the corporate level, to emergency services, victim support groups and agencies, schools, colleges and health service providers. Her professional programs are designed for every age group from children to seniors, as well as a program designed specifically for the disabled.
Recently, Anny has developed a new division to her company, Project Safe Girls, which is designed specifically for girls and is used in after school programs, girl’s organizations and YWCAs, to name a few of the target areas. Specific curriculum and training is developed for age appropriate
Anny’s program is not traditional “self-defense” nor martial arts or weapons. She has developed her training specifically for females and teaches them to use their bodies as their weapon to diffuse a violent situation.
Anny’s style is serious, with compassion and empathy, yet fun and empowering. Her training classes and seminars leave her students with a sense of confidence and an understanding of their intuitions regarding safety. Anny has authored a comprehensive training manual for each student to take with them as reference.
Anny Jacoby is available for speaking engagements, lectures, individual consultations and presentations. She is a Certified PDR (Personal Defense Readiness) Instructor and has a team of male Certified PDR instructors and coaches with The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company who are dedicated to teaching and training only females.
Anny is also an independent contractor as a Certified Prevention Specialist and an Authorized Stewards of Children Facilitator through the Darkness to Light prevention program. She has developed a passion for educating parents and communities about the issue of child sexual abuse and prevention. She is available to travel throughout the US bringing this important and vital information to all.
For media appearances and inquires or speaking engagements please contact: ImaginePublicity, firstname.lastname@example.org; 843-808-0859
Release produced by ImaginePublicity
Video surveillance cameras, live cameras monitored 24/7 and official warnings that can be blasted in seconds to tens of thousands via email, cell phone text messages and Facebook. Campus security is more sophisticated than ever, but college officials say they still can’t absolutely guarantee the safety of their students.
“That is impossible,” says Melissa Essary, dean of the Campbell Law School in Raleigh, NC. “There will always be criminals out there who can get away from the best security system.”
Since the Virginia Tech killings, schools around the country have beefed up security substantially, she says. Her school has just one public entrance, staffed full time by a security officer. But a potentially dangerous situation could erupt from within, she says. “There are potential inside threats as well as outside threats,” Essary says.
Though many colleges have surveillance cameras, only some are live while others are recording devices that would only be examined after the fact, not when a crime is actually occurring.
Student security isn’t only the responsibility of the college, says John Carroll, head of safety and security for all three Fordham campuses. “It is a shared responsibility for the individual, for campus security, and for the police department,” he says. “I’m sure I speak for my peers at other schools when I say that we will all take a strong look at the Yale incident just like we took a look at Virginia Tech to make sure we are doing everything humanly possible to protect our students.”
Fordham can text, voice and email all 15,000 students in seconds, he says, and a year and a half ago, when an emotionally disturbed person crashed through the gates, the college was able to warn everyone to stay away from the library, where the man, armed with a gun, was headed. “We contained the man and we were able to let everyone know,” Carroll says.
At Pratt Institute, security officers patrol the campus on foot, by car, and on bikes. There are hundreds of closed circuit TV cameras, emergency phones in campus buildings and outdoors, and a strictly enforced card-access only policy to the residence halls, according to William Schmitz, Pratt’s director of safety and security.
Many colleges are starting to use Facebook and Twitter to get out warnings to students, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Their goal is to use social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter to reach as many students as possible as quickly as possible, according to the Sentinel. The sites offer yet another way to communicate news to students. University of Florida is testing an indoor speaker system that uses Voice Over Internet Protocol, according to the Sentinel, in which announcements can be heard in almost all classrooms.
Still, officials say, it’s impossible to say that a college will always be completely safe.
“A college or university campus is a microcosm of our society,” Schmitz says. “While campus safety and security departments are invested in and committed to safeguarding campuses and students to the fullest extent possible, unfortunately crimes may still may occur.”
The reality of one’s safety and protection ultimately lies within one’s self, never rely upon another individual, staff or a college for you or your daughter’s safety.
Our children/daughters often never learn “life skills” to get them through life. “Life skills” must be taught to every female of every age. It’s not being paranoid, it’s about being smart and having tools in your toolbox (mentally and physically) to rely upon. Learning about awareness, gut instincts and the smell of potential danger can save one’s life.
PREVENTION IS THE ANSWER!
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Contributor in part: NYDailyNews
It is time to get ready for campus life, with September right around the corner. Project Safe Girls wants you to be aware and prepared. Awareness is a good first step toward protecting yourself. Being prepared is the best defense.
Campus crimes occur much more frequently than any of us realize. Crimes on College Campuses and crimes nearby college campuses frequently go unreported and/or under reported. A recent study by The U.S. Department of Justice on The Sexual Victimization of College Women reveals some disturbing statistics. Among the findings:
- Annually 4.9% of college Co-Eds experience a rape. In other words, the victimization rate is 49 rapes per 1000 female students.
- When one considers that the average college career now lasts 5 years, there is a 25% likelihood of a rape between Freshman Orientation and Graduation Day.
- This data becomes more disturbing when analyzed by the number of incidents rather than the number of victims. When the analysis is based on incident count the rate increases by nearly 30%. This takes into account women who have been victimized more than once.
- Crimes categorized as sexual victimization other than rape touched 3.4%, or 34 per 1000, college Co-Eds annually.
- This data also becomes more disturbing when analyzed by the number of incidents rather than the number of victims. Analyzed this way, the rate increases by a whopping 397%.
- 9 out of 10 victims know the person who sexually victimizes them.
- 71% of sexual victimization of college women occurs on a date – known more commonly as date rape.
- 88%of sexual crimes against women occur between the hours of 6 pm and 6 am.
- Sexual victimization of college Co-Eds most often occurs in a residence (on or off campus), with nearly 60% occurring in the victim’s own residence, 30% occurring in other campus living quarters and 10% at a Fraternity.
- Overwhelmingly, data indicates that women who attempt to protect or defend themselves avoid becoming the victim of a completed rape. While protecting or defending oneself is not a 100% guarantee, it is overwhelmingly the best action to take in order to avoid becoming the victim of a completed rape.
- In the instances where women used force or a self-defense product like pepper spray, Mace, a stun gun or a Taser, just under 31% of the attempted rapes resulted in completed rapes.
- Shockingly, fewer than 5% of completed or attempted rapes are actually reported to law enforcement officials. Reasons indicated for not doing so include: Not serious enough to report; not clear a crime was committed; not wanting family or others to know; lack of proof; fear of reprisal by the assailant; fear of hostility by police and fear police would not believe the incident occurred or was serious enough.
- Another frequent and unwanted violation of women on college campuses is stalking. An annual incidence rate 156.5 stalkings per 1000 Co-Eds is reported. Clearly this is a bigger problem and requires further attention, study and consideration.
If you are assaulted or in a dating violence relationship PLEASE REPORT THE INCIDENT to your campus police department AND PRESS CHARGES! ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS PRESS CRIMINAL CHARGES! And, I strongly suggest that you go to the local DV or Rape Crisis agency in your college community as well as filing a POLICE REPORT WITH THE TOWN/CITY POLICE DEPARTMENTS! Cover all of your bases. Do not leave any rock unturned.
Too many assailants, universities and colleges are getting away with sweeping college crimes under the carpet. DO NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO YOU! Remember, YOU DID NOT DESERVE IT! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
Parents – get involved in your daughter’s safety during college. Parents or Gals……contact me for details as we are gearing up our tour to bring personal safety training (6 hours on one weekend day) to communities everywhere! Organizers of training’s will train for FREE!
Take care and STAY SAFE!
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (CBS/WTVR/AP) George Huguely, the former University of Virginia lacrosse player being held on a first-degree murder charge for the death of Yeardley Love, has been charged with an additional five counts.
Charlottesville Commonwealth’s Attorney Dave Chapman filed the new charges of felony murder, robbery, burglary, statutory burglary, and grand larceny against the 22-year-old Friday.
Huguely waived his right to appear by video at a brief hearing Monday morning when the new charges were entered into the record in Charlottesville General District Court, reports CBS affiliate WTVR.
Charlottesville police have charged Huguely with first-degree murder in the death of his ex-girlfriend and fellow classmate Yeardley Love. Huguely claims the death was an accident.
Upset over their recent break-up, Huguely allegedly broke into Love’s apartment May 3 and shook her while her head struck the wall.
Police say Huguely admitted that he saw blood dripping from 22-year-old’s nose before he pushed her back down on her bed, stole her computer which contained e-mails exchanged between the two, and fled.
Huguely has been in solitary confinement in a Charlottesville jail for the past seven months while awaiting his Jan. 21 preliminary hearing. The hearing has since been postponed to a date still to be determined.
Respectfully submitted via Crimesider (CBS)
A Charlottesville judge ruled Wednesday that defense attorneys cannot review years of medical records of the University of Virginia women’s lacrosse player slain in May, saying the documents contained nothing out of the ordinary or relevant to the case.
In a hearing that lasted about five minutes, General District Court Judge Robert H. Downer Jr. said attorneys for George Huguely V, who is charged with murder in the death of his ex-girlfriend Yeardley Love, could look at Love’s prescription for Adderall but nothing else in her medical records. He said that those records generally were not germane to the case but that they showed Love had not taken any non-prescribed prescription drugs and had no unusual problems with dieting.
Defense attorneys had sought the records in an attempt to prove Love died of cardiac arrhythmia causing insufficient blood flow to the head rather than blunt force trauma inflicted by Huguely. The state medical examiner had ruled that Love died of blunt force trauma to the head.
According to a police affidavit, Huguely, 22, admitted that he had been “involved in an altercation” in which “he shook Love and her head repeatedly hit the wall.”
A defense expert disputed the medical examiner’s finding at a hearing last week. He said his working hypothesis was that Love’s vascular system suffered from a lack of oxygen that contributed to her death. Witnesses testified that Love, 22, had a blood alcohol content of 0.14 and that amphetamine in her body indicated that she had taken Adderall.
The judge’s ruling, though, seems to undercut that hypothesis as a defense for Huguely. Commenting on the records he had reviewed, Downer said there was nothing “remotely embarrassing or unusual for a woman who is a student athlete.” The defense expert testified that cardiac arrhythmia probably occurred after the blunt force injuries that Love suffered.
Huguely, of Chevy Chase, remains jailed until a preliminary hearing in January.
Respectfully submitted via The Washington Post, Matt Zapotosky, Washington Post Staff Writer
Before you announce your thoughts about how unhappy you are or that the relationship simply is not working for you any longer, have a solid plan in place. Women often fail to plan ahead in leaving, underestimating what the abuser can and actually ends up doing.
Susan Powell Example
Susan Powell, a married stockbroker and is a devoted mother to two young sons. Over time, Susan’s husband Josh became more and more controlling. Their marriage deteriorated. At this point in a relationship, many abusers begin to formulate a plan born of anger and desperation.
This plan remains in the abuser’s mind until they notice subtle signs of movement. Perhaps Josh walked into the room as Susan whispered into the phone. When she realized he was in the room, she quickly changed her tone or ended the phone call. Perhaps he learned Susan set up a bank account, and decided she was hiding money so she and the kids could leave.
The signs of movement spark Josh, or any potential abuser, to think of the next level. They think to themselves, “OK, she is going to leave me. I will not let that happen”. He acts as though nothing is wrong. When she goes to sleep, however, Josh leaps into action. He may:
•rummage through her car looking for evidence of her plan–a bank receipt or an unusual transaction or charge
•check her cell phone for any unusual numbers he does not recognize
•search her computer, checking to see which websites she visited
He finds something. Inwardly his anger skyrockets and his heart races. Outwardly, he remains calm and says nothing to Susan. A smile comes to his face. He “caught her,” and he figures in the future, she will pay one way or another.
Susan begins to email a trusted circle of friends about Josh’s abuse and threats. Maybe she keeps a detailed log containing dates and times of the incidents.
Next, Josh does what I label the “smell change.” Susan acts strangely. Josh, like most abusers, literally senses, or “smells” when his environment has shifted. Perhaps Susan verbalizes her unhappiness more often. Maybe she stands up for herself during a fight, where months before she would have backed down and gone to her room without incident.
Most abused women have difficulty hiding that “spark of empowerment” from a clever abuser. The abuser smells the spark, like a fox scents prey as he enters a coop full of chickens.
On December 7, 2009, Susan Powell of Utah disappeared. Law enforcement personnel consider her husband Josh a person of interest.
Susan Powell’s case appears no different from millions of cases of intimate partner violence we never hear about, until women disappear and someone finds their bodies. Often no “official documentation” of the abuse exists because the terrified women did not contact police or obtain a court order of protection. Why? Better than anyone, the victims know the court order of protection would not help. The court order of protection would only escalate the level of danger.
[Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit
She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk
and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Roth
How can others condone any song that trivializes domestic violence?
Florence and the Machine single, Kiss With A Fist was featured on their 2009 Mercury Prize-nominated album, Lungs. I am not a fan of Florence nor listen to Pop often but this song has resurfaced in our arena and needs a friendly reminder.
Originally, a great deal of confusion surrounded the song’s meaning. With lyrics such as “broke your jaw once before”, “split your blood upon the floor”, “you smashed a plate over my head”, “you gave a kick” and “I gave a slap” – the song was thought by many to be based on domestic violence, which Florence denied.
Florence explained the song’s meaning on her MySpace page:
“Kiss with a Fist” is NOT a song about domestic violence. It is about two people pushing each other to psychological extremes because they are fighting but they still love each other. The song is not about one person being attacked, or any actual physical violence, there are no victims in this song. Sometimes the love two people have for each other is a destructive force. But they can’t have it any other way, because it’s what holds them together, they enjoy the drama and pushing each other’s buttons. The only way to express these extreme emotions is with extreme imagery, all of which is fantasism and nothing in the song is based on reality. Leona Lewis’s “Bleeding Love” isn’t actually about her bleeding and this song isn’t actually about punching someone in the mouth.”
Florence further elaborated on her inspiration behind the song:
“I was 16 or 17 when I wrote this. I’d just fallen in love for the first time, and I’d also started hanging out with an older group of people, watching how their relationships worked. There was this one couple who were so cool, but so visceral and so intense. The guy never hit the girl, but I saw her lamp him a couple of times, and she’d always give as good as she got. But it wasn’t really physical violence, it was more about the fact that their animal passion for each other was the thing that was attractive for them. It was how joyful destruction can be, and how alluring it is to be in a relationship so fiery. There was never a dull moment when they were around. I don’t know how they do it! I’m a conflict avoider. I think I write about such intense things because I’m actually really bad at expressing anger.”
I personally question the song contrary to Florence’s explanations, artists and producers who have promoted the song, “Whatever the meaning, this is an exhilarating debut single” stated by MusicOMH.
It is so sad that so many people DO NOT know all of the types of abuse. The majority of individuals when asked, ”what is the first thing that pops into their brain when I say the words “domestic violence or dating violence”? They immediately go to the physical aspect of abuse. The black and blue bruises, the fat lip, the black eye….unfortunately there is so much education that needs to be spread about all forms of abuse.
Ms. Florence needs to be educated about the different forms of abuse as well as the warning signs and red flags. An individual can be physically abused without even being hit. The continuous abuse in the forms of drama, emotional turmoil, stress, verbal abuse ALWAYS leads to physical abuse (hair loss, weight loss/gain, ulcers, IBS, headaches, acid reflux, etc.), “pushing each other’s buttons” leads to stress and stress takes a toll on one’s body.
How can you state that “it wasn’t really physical violence” when you saw a female “lamp him” when you were a teenager? The was physical violence. It’s NOT okay for a female to hit a male or vice versa. The “animal passion” that you refer to IS DESTRUCTIVE. It will not stop. The impulsive behavior will lead to paths of destruction of both either together or in other relationships.
It is imperative to educate our communities and our children as to what is a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy relationship. This song is all about domestic violence and dating violence. Florence’s inspiration for writing this song is domestic violence even though she thinks/feels differently as to how individuals should treat once another.
It truly amazes me how artists get paid millions for producing such garbage and the fact that they are role models for so many people! Why would anyone pay anything to listen to a violence-encouraging song? To name a few artists that are and have benefited are, Rihanna, Girls Gone Bad, Rihanna accepts her fate as a now “bad girl” and uses her former abuses to justify her own future misbehavior; Russian Roulette,the music video featuring her being subjugated by a man with a gun and at one point, run over by his car. Later in the video she gets shot through the neck while she’s writhing underwater; Rihanna and Eminem (Love The Way You Lie-), the song ends with Rihanna singing the chorus and reaffirming that she not only takes but somehow enjoys the abusive treatment she routinely gets; Sting, Every Breath You Take; The Beatles, Run For Your Life; Metallica, Die, Die My Darling; Eminem, Just The Two of Us and Jarvic Church, Run For Your Life.
A year later this song along with others are still on the air waves blasting on stereos and is extremely disturbing as it sure as hell promotes domestic violence and dating violence. Some have even made it to the number one spot on the charts!
Singing about withstanding abuse and even coming back for more is not the message we want to be sending teenaged young women who find themselves in similar situations. Not to mention it isn’t a good message to send to men: treat your women terribly and even the most seemingly gorgeous and successful ones will stick by your side.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
November 8 is the 20th anniversary of the landmark Jeanne Clery Act (originally known as the Crime Awareness and Campus Security Act of 1990), named for the first year student who was brutally raped and murdered in her residence hall room in 1986 by a student she did not know. Her parents, Howard and Connie, founded the nonprofit organization Security On Campus, Inc. to steward the law and educate the public about campus safety. A basic premise of their life’s work is that when families send their children to school they have a right to know whether the environment is safe; and young adults who are leaving home, in most instances for the first time, should be accurately informed about the safety of their school.
That is why each fall since the Jeanne Clery Act, institutions of higher learning are required to release to students their Annual Security Reports – listing crime statistics for the prior three calendar years, plus key campus security policies and practices to prevent and respond to crime, as well as support victims and ensure justice. In worst case scenarios, institutions determined by the Department of Education (tasked by Congress with enforcement of the Act) to be in non-compliance may face fines of $27,500 per violation. I want to stress that the Jeanne Clery Act is not intended as strictly punitive legislation. When a school is fined, we all have failed.
Much of the problem, and certainly the solution, can be distilled to effective communication. Institutional transparency and accountability are built upon the willingness and ability to communicate. Thus, the disclosures and practices required by the Jeanne Clery Act provide a lens through which a school’s commitment and understanding of the basic safety needs and expectations of the campus community can be viewed. The Jeanne Clery Act provides a comprehensive framework that, when proactively utilized, engages the entire campus community as genuine partners in safety
The U.S. Department of Justice, in a 2008 study focusing on a recent ten-year period, found there was a 9-percent drop in violent crime, a 30-percent drop in property crime on campuses, and a 5-percent increase in the base rate of pay for campus police. Last month, Assistant Attorney General Laurie Robinson, addressing over 700 participants at a Department of Education conference in Washington, D.C., highlighted the 20th anniversary of the Jeanne Clery Act:
Colleges and universities once considered campus violence as off limits for discussion. Nothing good could come out of acknowledging crime – at least, nothing good for the administration. Meanwhile, those who were victimized were ignored and left to cope in silence, and the rest of the campus was kept in the dark about safety threats. The Clery Act helped to change that… its most positive legacy has been that it’s advanced the debate from whether to address campus violence to how to address it. Colleges and universities now are much more focused on solving a problem than on admitting one exists. This was a huge step in the right direction.
Twenty years on, higher education’s leadership must continue to expand and ensure that a comprehensive strategy reaches beyond campus boundaries. Crime is everyone’s issue. Every student, administrator, faculty member, and staff person on a college campus needs to be motivated to make changes in the campus climate towards violence and justice. Connections within the campus, and especially beyond, must be strengthened, creating a well-coordinated campus safety network in every campus community. There must be sustained efforts to step in as active bystanders, support survivors, highlight other avenues to heal, and assure raised awareness of crucial campus safety issues impacting students on every campus across our country.
The good news is that after many decades of progress — and in the face of continuing challenges such as sexual violence, stalking, and binge drinking — higher education has the leadership and experience necessary to promote practices and solutions for transforming campus culture. For all the tragic news we are faced with, what does not attract headlines are the everyday examples of dedicated, passionate individuals making positive differences on every campus. I can attest to the thousands of allies our organization has in higher education, and beyond, whom we stand shoulder-to-shoulder with when working for safer campus communities for students.
Earlier this year, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan stated how safety was a metric during his tenure as CEO of Chicago’s schools, and that his basic operating premise was “no school can be a great school until it is a safe school first.” These remarks were about bullying prevention for the K-12 education system, but also apply to higher education. Recognizing the importance of the information the Jeanne Clery Act provides for higher education, this anniversary is a poignant time to consider a National Higher Education Campus Safety Summit, bringing together the top officials from the Departments of Justice and Education, student leaders, law enforcement, public safety, victims advocates, and other experts to determine the priorities and resources necessary to implement significant, evidence-based change.
With the 20th anniversary of the enactment of the Jeanne Clery Act, a law that helps to protect over 18 million students each year, let us take stock of our priorities as a nation. In the decades ahead, how can the Jeanne Clery Act be utilized to further a genuine national commitment to transforming campus culture? From the presidents of higher education to the President of the United States, the anniversary is an opportunity to highlight progress which has been made, while setting a course to address challenges and ultimately create safer communities. Campus communities should be an example of our best aspirations and intentions for a civil society. We all should be motivated by this simple fact: great education is meaningless if we are not willing to do our best to protect the safety and well being of students.
Respectfully submitted via SOC’s Executive Director, Jonathan Kassa.
Take care and STAY SAFE!
Central Carolina Community College, Sanford, NC Hosting Personal Safety Awareness for Faculty and Staff
Central Carolina Community College, Sanford, NC Hosting Personal Safety Awareness for Faculty and Staff With Anny Jacoby
October 26, 2010 – Weekly, if not daily news reports yet another attack or assault on a college campus. Unfortunately many campuses have an unlevel playing fields which makes staff and students susceptible.
Anny Jacoby has the system that will help level that playing field, and she and her staff teach how to protect and defend oneself, mentally, emotionally and if necessary, physically in the event of an attack or altercation.
Jacoby preaches that “Education and awareness are the keys to bringing attention to the many issues facing our college campuses.” She has learned that many campuses do not offer workshops or training to their faculty and staff to prepare them if a situation may arise in their classroom or on campus.
Jacoby continues to reach out to females and educators on all levels to bring much needed attention to awareness and the ability to protect and defend oneself through various forms mentally and physically.
Anny Jacoby is a certified personal self-defense instructor, earning her certification from Blauer Tactical, which is known for their trainings with law enforcement and military organizations. The S.P.E.A.R. System taught by Blauer Tactical is successful at teaching exclusive maneuvers which help ward off or take down an attacker.
Realizing the “red flags” and developing your intuition is also an area which Jacoby teaches during the awareness presentation segment of her training classes. She speaks about empowerment, self confidence and using your intuition to decide how to react to an attack. She also describes the different types of attacks as well as types of violence a female may encounter.
Recognizing the importance of giving faculty and staff all the advantages afforded to them, Central Carolina Community College will be hosting workshops for their faulty and staff on Tuesday, October 26, 2010 with Anny.
If you or a collage campus are interested in bringing Anny to your community please contact Imaginepublicity or Anny directly.
Tamron Hall: How domestic violence hurt my family
It starts with the words “I love you,” and it ends with a punch in the face.
It starts with the line, “It’s us against the world,” and it ends with her against the wall in tears.
It starts with the suggestion of what to wear, and it ends with him saying, “I tear you down to build you up. You are mine.”
I have heard the stories. I have seen the pain. I have watched a loved one suffer in an abusive relationship, and ultimately die because she just could not bring herself to leave.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. I recently had the honor for the second time to host the awards dinner for a dating violence awareness organization called Day One.
Day One, a New York City-based group, started its journey of helping victims and survivors of abuse in 2003. The goal: to prevent abuse and protect those who suffer at the hands of–in most cases–people they thought loved them. Over a span of seven years, Day One has helped 22,000 young people learn how to identify abuse and to foster and maintain healthy relationships.
Just writing those words, 22,000 young people, sends chills down my spine. Think about it. We live in a world where we must teach young people how to identify abuse. With so many messages and images of what is right and wrong, there is still so much to be taught on this issue. Why is this the case?
Well, how many times do you think an adult (let alone a teenager) believes that a girlfriend or boyfriend calling a hundred times in a row is love? He or she, blinded by love, sometimes does not realize when that person is crossing the line of what is reasonable. Those repeated calls and messages saying, “You will pick up the phone!” are a demand to be heard, whether it’s wanted or not.
How many have assumed that “crazy in love” is a good thing? How many have thought, “He is so crazy about me, he followed me,” or “He is so crazy about me, he came over without calling and cried at my front door,” or “He is so crazy about me, he beat up another boy.” It happens more often than most could imagine.
At this year’s Day One awards dinner, I listened as two smart, independent, and brave young ladies told of the abuse they suffered at the hands of young men they once loved.
Christina told the story of being held hostage in a home and beaten with a belt by the “love of her life.” His love marks came in the form of stitches in her head. One day, he even cornered her outside of her school. He was furious that she had cut off all ties to him. He told Christina, “I will put you in that hospital across the street if you don’t give me your new phone number.” Christina told of how she felt there was no help–somehow, the system was failing her and helping him. It was not until Christina met Ian Harris, an attorney with Day One, that Christina was able to get an order of protection that would keep her former love away for five years–the longest term that can be applied in New York family court. Even so, many young women find all-too-soon that an order of protection, even for five years, is not a guarantee of safety. You ponder that for me. In spite of what she went through, Christina is now a successful young woman, studying law in college and working to help others.
The second speaker was Karin, who, like so many of us, found the man of her dreams her first year in college. But instead of a love story to share for the ages, her story was one of abuse. Karin was isolated from her family and friends as a result of being manipulated by her boyfriend. He uttered the infamous line, “I tear you down so I can build you back up” when Karin asked why he verbally abused her over and over again. Karin found her world closing in on her as every holiday was spent with his family–not her own. He demanded that she spend every hour of the day with him and not her own friends. It’s as if she woke up to a world he built–or should I say, a prison. Karin’s tipping point came when her boyfriend threatened to drive his car off the road–she believed that his goal was to kill them both. Karin soon talked to a counselor and found the strength that she needed to leave the relationship. A short time later, Karin contacted Day One in hopes of becoming a volunteer. Not only is she currently a volunteer, Karin is now in her first year of law school.
Day One cites a recent New York City Teen Health Risk Survey showing that one in ten teenagers had experienced physical or sexual assault in a dating relationship within the previous year. Even more startling, it tells that nearly 1,400 teenagers call the New York City Domestic Violence Hotline each month. Of course, domestic violence isn’t limited to any one city or state–it’s a problem that’s becoming more and more prevalent throughout the entire country.
I could go on forever with facts and figures that might leave your head swirling. Instead, I will leave you with this: Renate, my fun-loving, energetic and streetwise sister is my inspiration for this story. She was found one Sunday morning, facedown in her backyard pool. Her hair had been pulled from the back of her head. Her nails were broken on every finger, indicating that she had fought back. But whom had she been fighting? I will never learn in the form of official charges, but what I can say about her death is that the only person ever considered a suspect or person of interest in the case was the man she loved. She often remarked that they had a “love-hate relationship,” and that they would “break up to make up.” Sadly, on that day, Renate’s view of love ended in struggle and pain. My father always believed that justice would eventually be served, but he passed away only a few years after Renate, and his dream of seeing her killer brought to justice will never be realized.
Day One, and other organizations like it, has made a commitment to so many mothers, daughters, sisters and friends to end domestic abuse. In fact, Day One has reached over 6,000 college students through awareness events. But no matter how far they have come, they still need volunteers, they still need voices and they still need you.
The victims are getting younger. The abusers are getting younger. The clock is ticking…
In memory of
Tamron Hall is the host of NewsNation on MSNBC, which airs weekdays at 2pm. She is also a frequent substitute on NBC’s Today Show
For more information about DayOne, go to: www.dayoneny.org
Respectfully submitted via MSNBC